November 10, 2008

The temptation of Saint Agnostic 2: Isabella

See Part 1 here for the rationale. Basically these profiles are to show how I didn't start off liking teenagers -- I hadn't been around them since I was in high school -- but how they slowly won me over with their charms. They're also to show how it was they who came on to me, contrary to the popular image of a guy-who-likes-young-ones as a slimeball who imposes himself on unwilling girls.

All names have been changed. I thought of at least keeping their ethnicity clear (there are far more Persians and White Colombians than expected by chance), but I opted for generic trendy names.

Isabella was one of only two 14 year-olds who I've ever found myself drawn to, although she was nearly 15 by the end of our acquaintanceship. (I was 24 - 25.) Typically, 14 is too immature, 15 is a transition year, and by 16 or 17, they're ready to begin dating. However, these are just trends -- maybe only 1 out of 1000 or 10,000 girls her age have matured early enough in looks and personality to get my attention, but it's not zero. And even with the precocious ones, I have almost no sexual attraction to them (although for 16 - 19 year-olds, I do for sure). Only holding and kissing or something like that. But just because you don't want to sleep with them doesn't mean they can't tug at your emotions, the crafty little devils.

I first met Isabella when she was 13. She was very hyperactive, and at that age her idea of flirting was to hop out of her seat to run over and bug me. I didn't pay her any attention, though -- I mean, 13. One year makes a big difference when growth is exponential, though, so by the middle of her freshman year of high school, she actually made an impression. By this time, her parents had her medicated for ADHD, turning her from ebullient to brooding overnight. When I worked with her for the first time after summer vacation, I thought it was some older, darker sister of hers.

She always looked at me with longing puppy-dog eyes, and I felt horrible for being powerless to restore her mood to a normal level. I would try to brighten her mood and get her into work mode by telling a joke, or whatever, and for a few moments anyway, that would wash off the long face and elicit a smiling expression like when a cat's getting its chin scratched.

When I stood near her to quickly correct her work or write down her score, she would spontaneously stand up from her seat, lean slightly forward onto the desk, and push out her little butt, always in then-fashionable low-rise jeans, all while tilting her head into my personal space and letting her long hair fall down to one side.

One day, when I wasn't even close to her, I saw her staring at me from the corner of my eye. "Hey Agnostic...? Can I ask you a question...?" I turned my head toward her over my shoulder. "What color are your eyes?" I don't know, brown I guess. "That's what I thought, but like, they kinda change color depending on the light you're in." Awkward pause. "They're cool... it's like, exotic..."

I never looked at high schoolers the same way after one of them complimented me on my exotic eyes that she'd been tracking through different lighting conditions. And this in front of a group of her peers, no less! She definitely had a rebellious, trouble-making streak, so it shouldn't have been too surprising -- but still.

Isabella was a very observant girl: it turns out my eyes have a ring of green around a central ring of hazel, and that they do change depending on how strong the lighting is. (The pupil constricts in strong light, making the iris bigger and revealing more of the outer green.)

She didn't come back after her freshman year, and that was probably for the better. To ignore their advances, it helps if they appear immature. But it's tough when they're always volunteering unique observations like she did, trying to remind you that they're one of the precocious ones who won't be ignored.

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  1. Great post Agnostic. I also once had a 14 year old female student G(German lessons)who drew hearts and stars on my hand, and took pictures of me with her cellphone camera. One time she even wore make up for me. She was kind of aggressive, she asked me how many girlfriends I have had and how the sex with them was. I have no doubt that 16 year old girls are ready for sex. 14 and 15 year old girls look younger, but don't make mistakes: they have the emotional, cognitive and intelectual maturity to have relationships and sex. In general, below 14 is a taboo. But I did a little experiment: I asked some of my university female companiens whne they thought they were to date, fall in love and have sex. Most of them said 12, 13 at the most 14.
    14 and 15 year old girls are amazingly cute, sweet and nice. The 16 and 17 year old girls on the other hand are usualy very difficult to tell apart from their 18-20 year old university counterparts.

  2. The two 14 year-olds came from well-to-do white South American families, so things may be a little different where you are. Here, where most people are northern European, I'd say there's a one-year difference in the maturation process.

    "who drew hearts and stars on my hand"

    That's a good standard to use in judging how girly someone is -- would they feel comfortable drawing silly things on your hand or arm? I remember girls doing that to me a lot in 8th grade, when I was 14. Women my age now would never do that because they're not as emotionally possessive.

  3. Is the lower half of the face of the Catalan you picutred a few posts back Agnostic?

    She is a honey-bunny if there ever was one. I know you were tempted big time, consequences and all.

  4. No, the girl in this picture is not the Catalan girl from before.

  5. I'm a 18 year old girl, though I look closer to 14 than college age. I just wanted to say that reading your blog makes me feel like I'm almost past my prime, haha.

  6. Well the key word is "almost," right? j/k

    I want to snatch up a girl for my girlfriend before she peaks. That way I get her at her peak, plus when she's at a high level just before that. If it were just a one-night stand, then I'd want a girl right at her peak, a bit older than you.

    "Deborah" -- is that a pseudonym or reference? Only women our mothers' age are named that! It's OK, I have a somewhat old-sounding name too (but I might change it...).

  7. Haha no, Deborah isn't my real name, but I think it's lovely nonetheless. My name is much more mundane.

    That's an interesting point. If you're looking for a girl to be arm-candy, your methods make a lot of sense. I do think there are many women who reach their "peak" at a mature age (beauties like Kate Beckinsale, for instance). And obviously, a lot hangs on taste. I think the rest of us girls and guys, however, will probably peak physically sometime in our 20's, some even in our teens. My teens have been incredibly awkward (braces and acne, anyone?), so it should get better from here, haha. Plus age should hopefully squash some of the air out of my head.

  8. It is somewhat disturbing that 25-yr old men contemplate actually having sex with 14- and 15-yr old girls. Simple attraction is one thing, but sex is another. Yes, I know that evolutionarily speaking, they've gone through puberty and have all of the requisite secondary sexual characteristics, but emotionally, they're still children. Of course girls this age would flirt with older guys- they want to feel like adults. A 25-yr old man who uses this adolescent yearning for emotional maturity to have sex with these girls is guilty of exploitation.


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