November 2, 2008

Schoolgirls should not wear schoolgirl costumes

Halloween costumes that are specific human types are always caricatures, for two reasons: 1) to make sure everyone gets the point, and 2) usually to poke fun at the type (say, when someone dresses up as a nerd or banker). The past two nights at the teen dance club, I saw quite a few dressed up as schoolgirls, and like heavy make-up on beautiful girls, the costume detracted from their overall charm. Here's an example of the costume I mean, compared to what a real schoolgirl wears:

Just as whips and chains are only for couples whose libidos so low that they need a shot in the arm of kinkiness, schoolgirl costumes only serve women who've already lost their youth. As much as they will deny it for the rest of the year, when Halloween comes around, most women recognize that they looked better in high school than they do now. They see women their age dressing up as schoolgirls, but zero schoolgirls or college girls dressing up as CEOs, lawyers, housewives, or any other generic adult type. That asymmetry is too stark to block out of their mind, though fortunately for their egos, they are only confronted with the cold hard truth once a year.

The same is true for all the other costumes older women sport to try to regain their youthfulness for one night: nurses, French maids, etc. etc. etc. As on prom night, they look like older women trying to look young. Baby girl, you haven't even lost it yet, not even close!

The only really good costume I saw was a dark / fallen angel: something like this, only the girl was probably a senior in high school, 5'3, barely over 100 lbs, and had Crow make-up around her large girly eyes (though without white paint on the rest of her face). Seeing her was like getting slapped in the face with one of those snaps that no father wants to hear: "Dad, I'm not stupid and innocent anymore -- you have to let me grow up!" I mean, the girls at this club like to ride my leg as we get low together -- I know their minds have already transformed into hormone sponges. Still, she was such a girly looking girl that the contrast with her costume was a bit jarring.


  1. Pedophilia is the unstated point behind the schoolgirl costume. "Unstated" is the key word; the costume hints at pedophilia without being explicit about it. For a teenage girl to wear a schoolgirl costume the pedophilia angle might be a little too explicit, and the costume wouldn't be funny. On the other hand, if a woman in her 20's wears a schoolgirl costume, a woman who's clearly well past the age of consent, the joke isn't lost.

  2. You're too stupid to know what that word means, so you can stop using it.

  3. Fine, if you must be a stickler for words, instead of "pedophilia" we can use the term "sexual attraction to girls past puberty but below the age of consent."

    Happy now?

  4. No, pedophilia specifically refers to those who haven't even gone through puberty. To point out the obvious, you've been duped into a witch hunt for "pedophiles" (who rarely are that).

    And you know I'm almost never talking about girls below the age of consent, so that's non sequitur. In the future, looking up stuff on Wikipedia will clear up your confusion.

    Just in your neck of the woods, AOC is 16 in CT and NJ, and 17 in NY.

  5. That's what I call laying the motherfucking smack down!

    Yeah, cracka!

  6. The colloquial misuse of 'pedophilia' is annoying.

    Pedophilia = attraction to pre-pubescent children (typically <11: pre-pubertal development)

    Hebephilia = attraction to pubescents (typically 12-14: mid-pubertal development)

    Ephebophilia = preference for mature teens (15-19: developed adolescents)

    I used "preference for" in the last one because all normal adults are attracted to reproductively mature youths. Typical samples of men show no penile/subjective response to pre-pubescent imagery, mild response to mid-pubescent imagery, and high response to anything after full development. Responses are higher for late teens than late 20s. (but responses peak for early-mid 20s)

    High responses to the former two are related to various biological and behavioral differences suggestive of a unique biological condition.

  7. I think generally college girls and early 20s girls are 10 times better looking than high school girls.

    For most girls, high school is that awkward time where there are zits and braces and bad hair and growing into your changing body.

    (maybe the times have changed and the girls are hotter this generation?)

    The girls who are hot in high school, usually peak in high school.

    Sad for them.

    The girls who peak middle to end of college tend to just get hotter and hotter.

    At my ten year high school reunion, all the hotties from back then looked plain and a ton of plain girls looked gorgeous.

    I get your preference for young girls as I've said before, I just think late late teens/early 20s are a universally are more attractive time for girls.


  8. Kassy -- I agree that most girls peak when you say they do, rather than in high school. I'm just saying, compare a woman who's near or over 30 to what she looked like at 17 -- typically, her 17 y.o. version looked better, if you ask neutral judges. So, not what she says herself, or her friends, etc.

    For example, she might have been a 7 at age 17, moved up to an 8 at 21, and slid to a 6 at 29.

  9. Aaaah, the 23 year old. Staple of my dating life. Still young, but not enough to creep me out by being close to my students' age. Beginning to become a mature person that you can have, like, and actual converstion with, yet still girly and fun. And of course, hot as hell. ;)

    The only thing unequivocally best about teenage girls is that fantastically tight skin. I must give them that. They practically glow.

  10. Don't costumes serve as:

    Advertisement of status/hotness?

    "Uniqueness" as part of the SWPL Herd?

    Subtle one-upmanship with female friends?

    Dress up and play allowed adults that day?


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