November 15, 2008

How not to get a guy's attention

Yesterday I went to the mall for the first time in awhile to pick up a winter scarf. Signs of the "slowdown" in retail were abundant. Just to name two: trendy Urban Outfitters had a stack of their own label's jeans for $9 each, and Wet Seal had a "buy one thing, get something else for 1 cent" clearance sale. *

Having had a great night the day before at '80s night, I radiated that glow that provokes even greater indicators of interest from females than normal. As a group of six or seven teenagers approached me, I felt them staring at me, so I looked over. One "Hi!!!!" followed another, both girls smiling brightly and walking with that light-and-bouncy gait with which nature has blessed young girls. Were they a bit older -- they appeared 14 -- and a bit more attractive, I would've stopped to chat them up. But the signal itself was delightful.

At the other end of the age spectrum, a woman in her late 40s or possibly 50s marched toward me with that Power Bitch stomp that aging cougars believe makes them look like runway models. The walking space was wide enough for 8 to 10 people to stand shoulder-to-shoulder, and there was no one else present, yet she came within 6 inches of me. As she clunked by, she turned her head toward me, looked down over her overpriced sunglasses, and violently stroked her too-short hair at me. No smile, not even a closed-mouth one. And no attempt to hook me with wide-open eyes -- only a glare. For fear of losing the boner that the teenagers had given me, I stared straight ahead, like they taught me to do when you think a stranger could be dangerous.

Overly aggressive sexuality is something I would have dreamed of in a female when I was a desperate, girl-hating young dude. "Please God, deliver me someone who I won't have to work for!" It's only after about 25 when you start to enjoy the coy teasing type of sexuality. You just have more and better options, so you start to seek out the thrill of hunting and capturing your willing target. I should say I'm only talking about public sexuality -- I do hope that she's not coy when no one's looking. But when you're out in public trying to get that guy's attention, drop the I'm-in-charge-here attitude and just act sweet while hinting at naughtiness, as someone who pretends to run away but will end up submitting to the hunter.

* See here and here for greater detail.


  1. I love reading how you react to overt aggressive attention from women you don't like. Its hilarious and a learning experience all in one.

  2. Agnostic,

    Do you really think the cougar was signalling sexual interest, or was she displaying hate toward a younger man, whom would have been "in her league" 25 years ago, but can no longer have...........and probably didn't "have" back in the day when she was making the kinds of bad choices that made her the hateful hag she is now....?

    One can also consider the possibility that you might look like the "love of her life" 30 years back who broke her heart in a zillion pieces, etc.......

    Its indeed funny how different women react to the acceptance of cougarhood when it is upon them. Some realize that their time is past, and they lay aside pretension and are nice and sociable, and some get ensconced in a shell of hatred, and some go into denial about it and try every facial cream and vitamin in the world (and starving themselves to compensate with thinness). Meanwhile young hot guys dont give a rat's about them, and would be embarrassed for any women that they are truly interested in to even know they were boning a 40 year old on the side, no matter how big her tits are, etc.....

    There is something very sad about "older" people trawling the dating market alongside youngsters in their primes.

  3. It's tough for cougs who aren't as wanted as they'd like, especially if they missed out on the best things in their life. She ain't gon look at you and put it out there, when she know you probably aint interested, just to get rejected, when she ain't got the stack to spend on that, of self-confidence. But she might be hopin for some prestige or some validation or some sex.
    You shoulda talked to the girls. It'd been a better story if they'd said something.


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