You were cuter in high school -- the data prove it

Steve Sailer, Half Sigma, and Razib have all commented on a new national, representative sample of body measurements in Americans. Read the study's tables here. So far, they have only focused on race and sex differences. You probably wonder why I focus so much on age -- well, no one else does. Due to how segregated our social groups are by cohort, age is one of those invisible variables for most people -- especially regarding people under 25 and over 70. I'm here to lift that veil.

Even though I have regular up-close-and-personal contact with teenage girls, I was still a bit surprised. After perusing the graphs below, you'll understand why it's so easy to find flattering pictures of a young girl, no matter how unprepared she is, while even 20-somethings struggle to look good -- let alone once they begin tumbling down the jagged cliff of the 30s and beyond. In the recent collection of Catalan girl pictures I put up, they're all 16 to 19. And these are just pictures that they've snapped at random during their daily routine -- no need for a huge room full of NASA engineers hammering away at their computers while darting their eyes back up at the big screen, and all starting four hours before her picture is to be taken.

But just in case you're curious why a 28 year-old guy would rather be around teenagers than women his own age, here are four graphs that show the ripening and dessication of the female body across the lifespan. I've already written about personality changes elsewhere (search this blog for "staying girly").

The dots are medians, and the lower and upper bars are the 25th and 75th percentiles. Each year has a point from 12 to 19, though unfortunately after that, everyone within a decade is smooshed into a single point. There are data for as young as age 2, and as old as 80-somethings, but I'm interested in pubescent and pre- or barely menopausal females. The teenagers aren't broken down by race, so I used race-neutral data for all ages. But age is not like IQ or income, which correlate with race, so there's no harm.





The median teenager is normal weight, and through age 16, the middle half lies in the normal range. Late teens are still mostly normal too. Even by a woman's 20s, the median woman is pushing right up against the normal / overweight barrier, while the 75th percentil is pushing against the overweight / obese barrier. By their 30s, the median woman is now clearly overweight and remains so, while the 75th percentile stays clearly obese. If you don't want to lose your hand in rolls of lard when you squeeze your girlfriend's ass, it's best to date young girls.

And talk about expanding waistlines -- up through 16, the median girl's waist hovers around 30 inches, which already is a bit big for someone who's 5'4 or shorter. By their 20s, the median woman has a 33-inch waist, and it just gets worse from there. I don't have anything against dating a girl who's taller than I am, but she can't have a bigger waist than I do (29 - 30 inches).

About 5 or 6 weeks ago, I was sandwiched between 4 or 5 teenagers, all very petite, and I could fit my hands around a fair amount of one girl's waist, while she gave me the motor-booty treatment. All guys will tell you there's something thrilling about being able to pick up a girl and hurl her body across the room. With older women, you're deprived of that thrill -- you might as throw on a yoke and haul her fat ass around.

Weight shows a disappointing trend after 20 as well. As with waist size, I would feel strange dating a woman who weighed much more than I do (135 pounds). Now, if she were tallish and was packing most of that weight into a jungle booty, then fair enough. But such females are genetic freaks, and therefore rare. The typical heavy woman is the reason why Wal-Mart aisles are so yawningly wide -- to accomodate the girth of their scooters.

Guys who aren't desirable enough to get girly girls love to brag about how chasing after man-women proves how macho they are -- "Well, only the most masculine guy could date a 6'3 bodybuilder with chest hair and a 5-inch clit." Yeah, you enjoy that there, buddy. In fact, any time I've ever seen the topic come up on the internet, tall guys who are desirable usually say they like petite girly females just like everyone else. I mean, when you pick up your girl and spin her around, you want her to sail in the air -- much easier when she's 130 pounds at age 16 than 155 pounds in her 30s.

Most guys don't care about a girl's height, but for those who do, they've already attained their adult height of 5'4 by age 15, and it's not easier to find really tall girls by looking at older ones (the length of the bars is about the same after 15).

If we cared about finding supportive husbands for all women, we would burn these graphs into their minds during high school health class, with a warning to get married before you turn into a giant slug by your late 20s. But we live in a society where adult supervisors see the 20s as a time for exploration and "finding yourself," even though teenagers themselves think they should grow up faster than that.

I still find it amazing that they hardly do any exercise -- even when they have a free gym membership -- high school gym class -- they refuse to take advantage of it, obviously because they don't really need it. Hang out with teenage girls for awhile, even if it's just tutoring or volunteering, and you'll hear them complain about how ugly they look without make-up or having washed and done their hair. You won't notice at all. It must be nice to just roll out of bed and look hot. I guess they still have to shave their legs and underarms, though. Still, it must be a sweet deal being a young pretty girl.

Well, this data on adult women is pretty depressing -- luckily I'll be hitting up the teen dance club tonight where I can block it all out. And anyhow, I won't have to worry about aging for at least another 30 or 40 years.