June 8, 2008

The dangers of dating a much younger girl

Let's interrupt our regularly scheduled song in praise of the young girl and remind ourselves of some important dangers in dating them -- other than the obvious, like her father's shotgun going off in your back.

Most discussion of the mere downsides of dating a young girl -- such as in this 2blowhards post and its comment section -- exaggerates how bad the cons are for the average guy (like her not being able to get all art-chatty with you), while neglecting more real dangers. Having recuperated from a bout of the flu, I was able to go out four nights this week, and the novelty of it all after a week of being confined to my house made me notice a new danger each night I went out.

1) They're incredibly fickle. This doesn't matter if you just want to press your bodies together, but because they're so alluring, being cast aside out of flightiness stings more than it would if she were older. You can develop thick skin, and it still smarts more than in the older woman case. Older women are more brusque in their rejections, but this makes it easier to get over -- "yikes, glad I didn't get to know her" -- while rejection from a peppy teen affords you no such easy rationalization.

2) Unless you plan on dating your students, it is difficult to run into young girls in a get-to-know-you environment. One of the most common ways is being introduced to the younger sister of someone closer to your age. The older sister may be quite attractive and still only 22 years old, and so hardly worth spurning in an abstract sense when she throws herself at you. But when, after only knowing you for 10 minutes, she introduces you to her 17 year-old sister, it's hard to look at the more seductive and drunken behavior of her elder sister and find her as attractive as the unspoiled, sanguine younger sis, who is also flirtatious with you. (Adjust the ages as necessary: you're 40, a pleasant acquaintance is 32, but her sister is 26.)

So, you'll be faced with a choice between hooking up or dating the older sister and not enjoying yourself very much because you really want her younger sister, vs. going around the older sister's back to date the younger one, complicating every day's plan thereafter. Plus, if you spurn a nice 22 year-old for her 17 year-old sister, she will be constantly poisoning her sister against you when you're not around, most of it just shit she'll make up. While I happened upon this danger in a sister-sister context, it would come up in any other context where someone closer to you in social space introduces you to a young girl -- for example, if a 22 year-old fellow graduate student introduces you to a 17 year-old freshman who she's tutoring.

3) They will ruin any idealistic view of them that you may have had. I don't think becoming disillusioned is a bad thing, but some guys do. Or at least, while they may admit to terrible truths about other things, they still want to preserve their vision of adolescent girls as basically innocent and kind (it helps that these guys have completely blocked out all memories involving girls from their own adolescence).

I tried dancing with a 16 year-old face-to-face, holding hands, and keeping about a foot-and-a-half distance between us -- just to see if the female soul would appreciate this non-aggressive gesture. We danced this way for five to ten seconds, then she closed the distance and put one of her arms down, leading that hand of mine to her hip. After dancing this way for a further five seconds, she spun around, gave me her ripe ass, and lifted her arms away from her torso for me to caress the sides of her ribcage.

Events like this will fuck with your mind and change you forever, like the first time you heard a girl, in real life, say that she likes having her hair pulled. The animal nature of man -- and woman -- is not something our culture cares much about anymore, so these events will blindside most guys, and they may feel like they've bitten off more than they can chew. (At least the girl above leaned up to kiss me on the cheek when the song had finished, so it wasn't completely unwholesome.) Now, I have enjoyed purely innocent dances with young girls, but I can count them using only my thumbs.

4) As with males, females are the most violent from ages 15 to 24. While males get into violent fights in public settings, usually when their honor has been threatened, females are more likely to commit violence in an intimate setting. If you're dating a hotheaded youth, be prepared to step up your dominance displays on a regular basis, to deter her from getting the nerve to hit you, and be prepared to eventually get hit and have to respond. (I would hit her back, no question, though in proportion to what she did.)

This dynamic is more likely to unfold for a noticeably older guy dating a young girl, because the girls who will be open to this relationship will certainly not be a representative sample of young girls -- they will have a thorough excitement-seeking streak. These girls are likely to get into man-type public fights, so you can imagine how much more easily they would feel like pushing or slapping you in private.

Remember the girl who first corrupted my mind? She will illustrate this well. Tonight, she must have been in a higher state of physiological arousal, because right away she walked behind me while I was dancing and gave me a pretty good slap on the ass. By this point, I realize she views me as a novelty to have a little fun with, the same way I view her, so I didn't think it meant anything unusual. Later, though, a Big Girl was shouting at someone behind me, and I felt a girl fight coming on, so I maneuvered my way into her line of sight and planted my feet, just to block whoever she was staring down.

After bearing the brunt of a rush attack and getting knocked forward a good two feet (but fortunately having no trouble keeping my balance), I turned around and saw that it was the caramel-skinned girl -- with two guys already holding her back! Damn, I hate to think what could've happened if they and I weren't there to block her. That firecracker nature of hers not only makes her a sassy little sexual prankster, but also the type to enjoy whooping another girl's ass in public. For most, this would just be way too dangerous of a relationship to bother with. No doubt about it, though: at first, I would get a huge rush from pulling her off another girl and fucking her anger out later on -- but policing her would get tiresome very quickly.

5) Related to the above, you are also more likely to get into violent fights with guys her age, since they too are at their peak propensity toward violence. From displaying good body language and wearing a suit and tie (which connote power), I've never even gotten into a verbal fight with the hormone-crazed young dudes, even the thuggy Black guys who go to the teen dance club. Still, there are all those thousands of little pissing matches you have to get in when one of them tries to push past you, stand in your way, and so on -- something I hardly noticed during my sole venture to a 30-something club. It's do-able, but still another type of bullshit you'll have to deal with during the courtship process.

Even if you don't go to bars or clubs, there will be all of those sleazeballs who will leer at her or try to touch her when you're both out in public, a threat you wouldn't face if your girlfriend didn't attract attention from males aged 25 and under. Again, good body language and powerful clothing will mostly obviate the need to push a guy off of her, but there's always the chance that even a minor, routine turf war could escalate.

So, in the end, are the pretty young things worth braving these potential dangers, both physical and psychological? I think so -- "you get what you pay for," "no pain, no gain," bla bla bla. Plus, most of these dangers are present to a lesser degree in dating older women, except for having your idealistic vision of them ruined, as you probably hold no such view to begin with. Dating and mating will always be hell, and all females drag drama wherever they go. You might as well accept a bit more of the usual costs and enjoy a much higher payoff.


  1. There's jealous guys close to her age that could gang up on you. It happens all the time.

  2. Who cares!!! My boyfriend thinks the same with me. He- is eight years older than me, lol. We met online at—SUGARLOVES’C0M–— a nice and free site for SUGAR DADDY and SUGAR BABY, to- interact with each other. Maybe you wanna check out or- tell your friends.


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