While grown-ups worry themselves to death about preventing adult ways from corrupting the youth, in reality it is the young who threaten the spiritual welfare of the mature. The age group most likely to commit violent crimes is 15 - 24, a fact well illustrated by the book and movie A Clockwork Orange. If a teenager overhears two grown adults discussing their weekend, what will they hear? "Well, I watched a Netflix movie on Friday, did some yardwork and prepared my taxes on Saturday, and called up the family on Sunday." Cover your ears, children.
I wish I could recall all of the hair-raising things I overheard my tutorees say to each other. "Hey X, you wanna come over to my house tonight and hit Y?" "Hit" meaning fuck. Or "At least I'm a happy drunk -- you're such an angry drunk," coming from 15 year-olds. While the media exaggerate the degree of adolescent debauchery, it's clear that it still swamps the non-existent libertinage of the average adult.
[cover of "Teenage Kicks," Nouvelle Vague]
I just got back from the dance club I described here that caters mostly to ages 16 - 18. I know that I should have stayed away, but when those two teens "backed it up" into me at the same time, something catalyzed in my brain, and I was ruined. Just a few minutes later when one of them returned for a third time, my hands began to grip her exposed pelvis. The next Friday, a different pair ambushed me, one grinding me from in front and the other from behind, my hands of course going right for the front one's hips. And tonight a tall, fit Black girl approached me to dance for a little bit, which has never happened before.
But what has irrevocably adulterated my being happened at the end of the night tonight. I've been keeping to myself at the club mostly because I'm paranoid that if I am too pro-active, I will come off as the creepy old guy (relatively speaking). Maybe it was too cautious, but now I have all the evidence I need that these girls want to press their bodies against mine, and I will be back for more.
I can't help making eye contact, though, and this time one of the girls made a final move as the club was about to close, abandoning all pretense of subtlety in her signals. She marched straight up to me, violating my space, turned around, bent over, and began working her ass around in my lap like an eyeball during deep sleep wiggling wildly around in its socket. Unlike almost every girl below the age of 22, she was well endowed back there, and she had a delightful hourglass figure. Tawny flesh covered her pelvis as melted caramel over an apple, and like a kid at a carnival I let my hands stick right to it, not caring about how I would wash off the residue later.
And unlike the previous incidents, this was not an impulsive drive-by grind; for an entire song our bodies moved to wear away the worthless layers of clothing that separated us. (Three solid minutes is a long time for ADD high schoolers.) Afterwards, I wandered home in a daze, my hands shaking for half an hour. No girl my age could have left me so willing to give up what I have, to bury myself in her world.
Hehe, I hope you've never tried ecstasy or meth. I think you'd be a goner if you did.
ReplyDeleteI've never done any illegal drugs (impairs health and IQ), only smoked half a cigarette (no benefit, all cost), and rarely drink alcohol (I have the Asian low tolerance / get flushed red gene). And I feel no temptation to change this. Drinking caffeine is as druggie as I get.
ReplyDeleteI have a very sensitive palate, though, so maybe my hedonism is fed well enough by my gourmandism that I've never felt tempted to get a rush in other ways (well, other than through the feel of nubile bodies).
Careful there, Humbert.
ReplyDeleteHe was attracted to 10 - 12 year olds -- pre-pubescents. That's pretty gross. I'm talking 16 - 18. Huge diff. No one has ever called a 12 year-old "jail bait," for instance.
ReplyDeleteHave you hired Gannon as a ghostwriter?
ReplyDeleteI'm going to play my old-lady role and second the warning to be careful. Not because you're in danger of becoming another Humbert, but because the thrill of half-secret, anonymous not-quite-sexual contact is addictive to a certain type of personality. The trouble with addictions is that they are progressive: eventually, you may need to go further to recapture the thrill of the first such encounter. You could find yourself stepping closer to real trouble by increments.
ReplyDeleteBut even if that never happened, (and no doubt it's unlikely), you could still find your sexuality so wedded to this scenario that more normal encounters begin to seem flat and uninteresting. (Look how quickly Roissy's poster "David" grew convinced that only tranny-type women were sexy.) This encounter and the thrill it gave you - that's how fetishists are made. Do yourself a favour and stop it now.
End of sermon.
Clio
You're right in the abstract, but the time scale matters here -- when you let a teaspoon of Spanish olive oil excite your taste buds, habituation kicks in and soon each teaspoon after it tastes dull. But if you have only one teaspoon a day, rather than one teaspoon every 10 seconds, olive oil will never taste dull, and you'll never feel the need to escalate the stimulus to get the same pleasure.
ReplyDeleteThis may be hard to control, like when you shovel an entire pint of ice cream down your gullet, but with this dance club, I only go one night a week (it's only open two nights, and one of those is a bad time to go).
A case that does fit what you're talking about is cruising the mall to get looked over and brushed against by girls.
You are right that it leads me to ignore perfectly OK girls in their late 20s. But I am still very much attracted to girls of legal age -- on a purely physical level, even more so (key range here being 22 - 24).
This particular barely illegal girl gave me such a rush because she had the energy and abandon of a high schooler but the body of a 24 year-old: she was 5'8 or 5'9, had a large but non-sagging posterior, thighs that touched each other, and C-cup breasts.
The advice to not pursue a superior option (dancing with a 17 year-old over a 27 year-old) is worth heeding when the actor is unlikely to get the superior option, and should settle for what's realistic. But in my case, although it's a bit harder to get a 16 - 18 y.o. to dance with me than a 26 - 28 y.o., it's not so difficult, and is worth it. My ideal dance partner is a college student, 18 - 21.
Don't get me wrong: eventually I will date 27 year-olds. It's just that it will be when I'm 55 and can no longer hope to dance with hormone-crazed teenagers and college students anymore.
What's age of consent in your state, Agnostic? 16, 17, 18?
ReplyDeleteIn my country it's 14, so that's kinda cool, although I don't see myself dating anyone under 16 anyway. And as long as you can get away with dating young women, go for it. A 19 year old is superior to a 27 year old in all ways. Leave the 27-30 year old when you are in your late thirties. In my country I see even a lot of guys in their earlythirties with girls in their late teens.
I don't know, but since I am 27, it is probably 18. I don't intend on breaking any laws. But talking, flirting, dancing -- maybe even going on dates -- are not sex acts, so I'm not worried.
ReplyDeleteIt's better that a 17 year-old girl date a guy in his 20s, whose hormones have settled down somewhat, and therefore who has a clearer mind, and who has responsibilities, rather than date a desperate, inept, and low-status high school boy.
Really you don't know? A guy who goes to clubs where 16-17 year old thrive should know. 16 is legal in a lot of US states.
ReplyDeleteThe danger I see with a lot of these kinds of thrills, as well as with game, is that you get addicted to the chase for thrills, even innocent ones, instead of focussing on getting into a real relationship. I was going out with someone over the past couple of months and was rather disappointed that I couldn't go out and get the thrill of getting a girl's phone number. It wasn't like I was going to sleep with them all, but I still wanted that rush.
ReplyDeleteI'm taking bets this post will eventually be used in a criminal trial. LOL
ReplyDeleteLook, Agnostic, I appreciate that you were a good sport about my previous comments, which were certainly intrusive.
ReplyDeleteI still think, though, that because you are intelligent, you underestimate the ease with which you can become addicted to such behaviour. Not all human problems can be solved by reason. The way you speak of rationing your time at this place is characteristic of borderline addicts who are trying to control their substance-abuse. The diagnostic tests for alcoholism, etc., always ask if you have tried imposing limits on yourself to keep the "kick" stronger, or to avoid addiction.
As it is, your behaviour, while not criminal, is certainly peculiar. It seems more like something a 12-year-old boy would try, not a grown man who has the option of a real relationship with a female partner whose name he actually knows.
Clio
16 is legal in a lot of US states.
ReplyDeleteIt is in Maryland, where I'm originally from, but not where I go to graduate school.
you get addicted to the chase for thrills, even innocent ones, instead of focussing on getting into a real relationship.
I just won't go to the mall -- which won't be hard, since the local malls stink out here.
The way you speak of rationing your time at this place is characteristic of borderline addicts who are trying to control their substance-abuse.
Or the way you promised yourself not to comment for an entire week at Roissy's, but then broke it and have continued to comment multiple times each day. Addictive, I know!
Let's get real: anything pleasurable has the properties of potential addiction. Substance-abuse programs are for people whose pleasures are harmful -- physically, or perhaps emotionally. On the contrary, there is nothing harmful to me or the girl when we press our bodies together.
I know, you're going to say that ignoring girls my own age is harmful, but that's not true, as I explained.
It seems more like something a 12-year-old boy would try, not a grown man who has the option of a real relationship with a female partner whose name he actually knows.
Well, I didn't say I only or primarily value anonymous booty-grinding in dark danceclubs. I prefer a real, get-to-know-you relationship with them.
But it's not easy for me to meet 16 - 17 y.o. girls, so I probably won't develop a real relationship with them. But 18 y.o. girls are college freshmen, and I could certainly date one of them. It's just hard to decide on one from among all the options.
with a female partner whose name he actually knows.
ReplyDeleteAs it happens, I do know her name -- Jasmine, originally from Boston (I knew she couldn't have been from the Mountain Time Zone).
Well, Agnostic, I haven't actually said anything about "girls your own age", have I? I left that up to your other commentators.
ReplyDeleteI don't see anything wrong with your dating younger women as long as they're old enough to be out of high school. That last year of high school makes a real transition for most young people and they are usually much more grown up once they leave home.
It was your description of this experience - a massive jolt in the dark with someone you appeared to know nothing about - that I thought sounded so unhealthy and potentially addictive. Your clarifications have made it sound less weird than it did originally. But if my original understanding had been correct (copping feels with anonymous strangers), I would certainly think it was emotionally harmful - to you, not to them.
Commenting at Roissy's website, or anyone else's, is only harmful in the sense of being perhaps a waste of time that could be put to better use.
Clio
That last year of high school makes a real transition for most young people and they are usually much more grown up once they leave home.
ReplyDeleteThis really deserves a post or mini-post itself, but I think living in her parents' home works wonders for the demeanor of a youngish female adult.
I don't know what university life is like in Canada, but in the US, most freshmen become pretty corrupted and jaded by the end of their freshman year (I recall this, and I've witnessed it again this year).
Whatever minor incidents they may have gotten away with in high school when their parents were away for the weekend, college students really debauch themselves once no one is looking after them.
In other countries, the timing of discipline prevents this: kids are whipped into shape by the entire community, not just the parents, so that they learn boundaries early on and can thus have more freedom when they become adults.
We overly indulge the little brats -- not just the parents, who may actually be strict, but the larger community -- so that once they become adults, they fuck everything up and we have to really clamp down on them for their own good, despite their being adults.
Anyway, the point is that leaving home ruins a girl somewhat. It's not an age thing: girls who stay at home while they're 18 - 21 don't go through the hell of coed college free-for-all.
In other countries, the timing of discipline prevents this: kids are whipped into shape by the entire community, not just the parents, so that they learn boundaries early on and can thus have more freedom when they become adults.
ReplyDeleteWe overly indulge the little brats -- not just the parents, who may actually be strict, but the larger community -- so that once they become adults, they fuck everything up and we have to really clamp down on them for their own good, despite their being adults.
Ok, first, I don't think sexual contact like this is a great idea for you. You are probably best cutting it down to zero. I'll leave it at that.
But, as to college kids getting out of control, well, it's pretty much designed to thrash them, so only those whose center is entirely in themselves, and who are probably completely unaffected by others, could possibly come through ok.
Let's look at what "first year of college" is:
1.Circle of friends is reduced or eliminated. Those whose "best friend"/boyfriend/girlfriend accompany them to college have a much better chance. Those who don't are completely cut-loose.
2.Patterns of behaviour completely change. Habit, inertia that is, is lacking for protection.
3.Enviroment changes, they are shocked and confused. Thus easily manipulated.
4.You have a nice huge overhang of predatory Senior/Junior college people who are not disoriented to take advantage of them.
Yeah, they are screwed. But whose fault is that?
I don't understand. People usually go to clubs to get laid...
ReplyDeleteWhen i see teenage girls with anyone over twenty i realize how immature both of them are. I have yet to meet the healthy 25 year old who dates high school girls. Why would you want to in the first place?
ReplyDelete