If you were unfortunate to wander anywhere near the arts and humanities from 1988 to today, but especially from roughly 1993 to 2002, you probably got your ear talked off at some point about how the patriarchy socially constructs borders or boundaries of female sexuality -- what's permissible and what isn't -- and actively polices them -- or makes sure that females don't get out of line.
Only a bunch of haggard old feminist dingbats, and men who haven't been around young girls in decades, could believe such a thing. For a quick reality check, here's a YouTube video of two 8th graders. One is more sexually aggressive than the other, and for this her friend crucifies her in that girly way of teasing her while smiling. It's girls, not the patriarchy, who do this to each other. Also note that these girls are still going through puberty, yet their merciless teasing and policing instincts are fully developed. So much for the social construction part of it!
See here for an academic lit review that comes to the same conclusion.
"Exhibit of mmmakeout science!"
ReplyDeleteI love it.
The narrarator is a cutie pie indeed.
ReplyDeleteI remember an old fling of mine from about a decade ago telling me when she first got "sexual" in puberty. She told me she went to the fridge and tried a carrot in the privacy of her room after her parents and sister were fast asleep, and then eventually graduated to cucumbers. She had just went through puberty according to her. She'd never had seen porn and grew up in the eighties, when TV was certainly tamer than it is now. Nobody had to tell her where to put that carrot or the cucumber, but her own psychophysical urges led her to do so.
Back when I was a lad (a long time ago) I noticed that it was the GIRLS in the fifth and six grades who started badgering the boys for attention (usually their friends would tell you that "Gina" likes you, etc.) to be their "friend". Once a boy committed to this, then the pair were "going together" in the parlance of the day (never figured out where these pairs were "going to", just that they were "going together"). Hands got held some, but it was the seventh grade (middle school for us) before the kisses between classes were out in the open, probably from watching the eighth and ninth graders. By the eighth grade many of the girls were getting "fingered" by their boyfriends at parties. That was as far as almost any of us got until high school when sex started happening. By the 11th grade just about all couples that had been together a month or two were having some sex.
What I remember about that age were the -raging- hormones. Id wake up in the mornings (especially Saturday and Sunday when I got to sleep in) with "diamond-cutting" hard-ons that I had a hard time getting down enough to take the morning piss. A couple of my friends used to joke that they kept 2X4's above the toilet to force their dicks down in the morning so they could urinate without peeing all over the damned commode. This physical state simply does not exist in your 30's unless you are not getting any pussy at all.
That little dark girl is going to break some hearts in junior high and high school. M
I love how she refers to the place as "the site," as though a crime were committed there.
ReplyDeleteA) 13? I'm glad I don't see many 13 yr olds around if that is what they look like. I'd be gittin myself in trouble.
ReplyDeleteOtherwise, what does this have to do with the concept of sexual policing? The policing comes in when the guy this 13 yr old made out with gets called a stud for macking on girls since he hit puberty while the girl is paraded as a slut. And the person doing the parading is not the girl who is merely holding a camera but all of us vouyers who would have never noticed a video of boys doing the same things. And 13 is not living in a vacuum. These kids are clearly influenced by adult social expectations.
Really, we should pretend that sexual double standards are justified because some precicious 13 yr olds buy into them?
Thanks for posting something that I came to see a little over a year ago. I spent time in university and suffered through the whole feminist diatribe about male social expectations controlling young girls. Then I saw the obvious truth. It was women, not men, who policed female sexuality. Even my mother and sisters do this.
ReplyDeleteGirls are far more critical of other girls appearance than guys. They are far more critical of girl's fucking too many guys. I had the chance to spend some time around girls whilst at university and I took the time to observe their behaviour. I learned more from watching what girls did than listening to anyone's theory. I strongly recommend every guy spends times watching women in their natural habitat, so to speak. It will shatter many myths and misconceptions you have.
FeministX said:
ReplyDeleteOtherwise, what does this have to do with the concept of sexual policing? What do you mean? One girl is policing another.
The policing comes in when the guy this 13 yr old made out with gets called a stud for macking on girls since he hit puberty while the girl is paraded as a slut.There is nothing policing about men being lauded for sexual experiences. The double standard is that women aren't also, and are instead denigrated, often by female peers, such as in this video.
These kids are clearly influenced by adult social expectations. This is a good point. The video doesn't prove that this behavior is socially constructed. I think it's clear that slut-shaming is at least socially mediated.
Yet the video should also point us to an alternative hypothesis: that slut-shaming is (a) primarily done by females, and (b) that the impulse isn't solely due to societal messages.
(a) at least turns out to be supported by the research that agnostic links to. Consequently, it would be premature for feminists to blame men/patriarchy for slut-shaming. This view also denies the agency of the females who do the policing.
Really, we should pretend that sexual double standards are justified because some precicious 13 yr olds buy into them?No, and nobody it saying that we should. But if sexual double standards are to be remedied, we need to focus on the real problem, which is primarily women (not men) policing women, and figure out why they are doing it. The problem might not just be social structures; it might be coming from female competitiveness (because, yes, females can be competitive, not just men).
Rather than the gender system appropriating women to police each other, we might be seeing competitive women appropriating messages from the gender system to give themselves ammo against other women.
Her actions would be a result of patriarchal social conditioning if the girl doing the shaming recieved her idea of sexual boundaries from her parents.
ReplyDeleteIn other words the video proves nothing. I'll check out the research link.
However simply because it is females doing the shaming doesn't mean that their behavior isn't fostered by a patriarchal culture.
A Brunette jealous of a Blonde???? Who would have thought??
ReplyDeleteNever underestimate the cunning of the jealous or envious....did you notice the complete lack of effective responses or denials???
Girls/Women....