I was going through my notebook to see if there were any Aimee songs left unfinished, as I'd better get them out now, while she's shifting from imaginary bf to IRL bf. Sure enough, there was one from the summer that only needed a few more lines. You can consider this the encore of the year-long "serenading Aimee" concert. Should the need for it ever arise in the future, the band would consider a reunion tour...
Like most of the others, it's set to the tune of a power-pop classic, "She's So High" by Tal Bachman. Original lyrics here. She's been getting nostalgic for her '90s childhood, so the timing couldn't be better.
This all got started when I was listening to the song, and thought, "What other MENA baddie historical heroine could I compare Aimee Terese to?" Fittingly for here and now, she's a figure from the imperial collapse period of Rome (the Crisis of the Third Century). I can just imagine her great-great-granddaughter leading a breakaway empire of her own on the periphery, taking Australia and New Zealand under her anti-woke wing, dealing a crippling blow to the core.
But mainly it's about translating the original into the online domain. A lurker or reply guy becomes infatuated with a larger account, although not a huge celeb account, someone approachable yet still out of his league. BTW, it's not a neg when I say "10K" -- that fits the stress pattern better than 20K or 30K.
Pronunciation guide: stress on both the first and final syllables in "following" and "spellbinding" in the 2nd verse, to match the original stress pattern.
* * *
Her account's a frenship zone
No cucks or e-girl clones
She's clutch, hella tight, based, unbound
It's only online, they say
How could it ever matter?
It sure doesn't feel that way
But still I shouldn't @ her
'Cause she's so spicy
Spicy 'n' gutsy, yet so cuddly
She's so spicy
Like Queen Zenobia, cursed Cassandra,
And Holly Golightly
She's so spicy
Spicy 'n' gutsy
Rollercoaster Red Bull feed
Sharp words, then less-than-threes
She's grown a 10K following
How could anons like me
Ever hope to top her?
Her eyes are so spellbinding
No need to photoshop her
And she's so spicy
Spicy 'n' gutsy, yet so cuddly
She's so spicy
Like Queen Zenobia, cursed Cassandra,
And Holly Golightly
She's so spicy
Spicy 'n' gutsy
Now she retweets my meme
That nearly cracks my screen
Being seen just hits my lowbie feels
It's only online, they say
How could it ever matter?
It sure doesn't feel that way
But still I shouldn't @ her
'Cause she's so spicy
Spicy 'n' gutsy, yet so cuddly
She's so spicy
Like Queen Zenobia, cursed Cassandra,
And Holly Golightly
She's so spicy
Spicy 'n' gutsy
hat then is loue but mourning?
ReplyDeleteWhat desire, but a selfe-burning?
Till shee that hates doth loue returne,
Thus will I mourne, thus will I sing,
Come away, come away, my darling.
Beautie is but a blooming,
Youth in his glorie entombing ;
Time hath a while, which none can stay :
Then come away, while thus I sing,
Come away, come away, my darling.
Sommer in winter fadeth ;
Gloomie night heaun'ly light shadeth :
Like to the morne are Venus flowers ;
Such are her howers : then will I sing,
Come away, come away, my darling.
Aimee, wait, were you just joking around about an IRL bf? The tone of that tweet sounds totally serious, and we know you'd have no prob finding one.
ReplyDelete...But something just leapt up from the back of my mind, from a podcast of yours last year, I don't recall exactly, but seemed like Sept to Dec of 2020. Don't remember the guests or the main topic of the pod.
However I do distinctly remember you saying that you are very long to woo. In fact, when a guy first expresses interest in you, you just push him back and run the other way, categorically rejecting him. It takes a lonnng time for you to get to like a guy -- "But when I finally like a guy, I reeeaaallly like him" and it's hard to let it go after that point of no return. (Tenacious)
You were calling somebody, I presume me, your "imaginary bf" in May (someone who "broke autistic gf's heart"). And as recently as late October, all that stuff about love isn't really love if is isn't reciprocal -- also sounding like you were wrestling with a (quasi?) relationship you had already been in for awhile, and weren't sure of where it was going.
Then quite suddenly, last Sunday, you're not only seeing somebody for dates, but have progressed to calling him "bf" and are spending the weekend together, where he doesn't want you attached to your phone?
Two to three weeks is pretty quick turnaround for a woman who is difficult to woo, and runs the other way for months even if she'll eventually take a liking to the guy.
Of course, I'm not going to hold you 100% to what you said on that podcast last year. Maybe on a rare occasion you do fall instantly in love with someone and move quickly from first date to being officially bf + gf.
I just can't shake that knowledge of your courtship style, though.
Why do intense women have to be so damned confusing sometimes? o_o
Tell you what, just clear it up for me, while still keeping it secret to your audience.
ReplyDeleteIf you were being serious, post a tweet that is the stop-sign emoji.
If you were just joking around, post a tweet with the fingers pointing at each other / nervous eyes emoji.
Nobody will infer anything about them either way, or connect them to the bf tweet. It'll just seem random. But then I will know for sure.
You can do that much for me, at least for remembering distinctive details of your romance style from a podcast I listened to once over a year ago. :)
I'd enjoy continuing to be your MPDG virtual relationship until you eventually find the right guy IRL. I just didn't want to get this virtual relationship to be too immersive, where you might be overlooking IRL bf material.
If you have already in fact found that guy, then what I've already said recently remains. If you were just joking around, though, I'll return to flirting and songwriting.
Plz be patient, I have autism :)
ReplyDeleteOn a related note, I never interact "privately" w/ social media accounts precisely b/c of the gay drama she posted about today. Someone else screenshotting and leaking DMs, etc.
ReplyDeleteI've seen too much of that over the past few years to assume that anything I sent would actually be kept 100% private.
At the least, the person might send it to a few highly trusted friends, but then who knows where it goes from them.
At worst, it gets screenshotted and filed in the "leak in case of drama" folder.
Social media platforms are the most gay 7th grade girl gossip clique insane asylum I've ever seen.
Thanks, but I'll stick to publicly declaring my inspiration or love for someone in blog posts or the comments section, rather than slide into that person's DMs.
You always run the risk of posting cringe when you're infatuated -- no risk, no reward. But if it's a public declaration like a song, it makes you sand off the rougher corners, since you know ahead of time that it's going up for public viewing.
When you send a supposedly private message, you act as though you're in a dark, intimate closet playing "seven minutes in heaven". God only knows how cringe you'll speak when you think no one else is eavesdropping.
Then when/if that cringe gets leaked through screenshots, you feel all the more devastated -- not just because it's a worse level of cringe than the public declaration, but due to the deceit involved, which shocks you in a way that a tepid reception of a public declaration would not.
Maybe a particular song lands with a thud -- they can't all be bangers -- but there's no deceit from the audience, and you don't feel betrayed by their "meh" reaction.
Communicating through quasi-public forums like a blog / comments (which fewer people read than Twitter.com) may come off as less dignified and discreet than DMs / texts / emails / voice calls. But all of those supposedly private messages can easily get recorded, copied, and published.
ReplyDeleteWAYYY less dignified and discreet -- it's just that the collapse of dignity happens suddenly without any apparent warning, shocking all involved, and it falls to a lower bottom. My way seems slightly less discreet on a regular basis, but there's never a sudden shocking collapse in an abyss.
The only way for truly private communication is IRL and face-to-face (the other side would have to be wearing a wire for it to fail). But when we're talking about online communication, that's not an option. My way is better.
Only exceptions are for banal things that would have no drama value, like logistical stuff, that other audiences don't need to know about. Like, "What time are we recording our podcast this weekend?" That's fine for DMs.
But for anything potentially juicy, it's either my way or the "just why?" way.
Private online comms are also bad for building tension. They're a pressure-release valve that tricks you into thinking you're escalating a relationship, when in fact nothing is developing because you aren't physically together, doing physical things together. Not even a kiss.
ReplyDeleteBut they do feel more intimate than public online comms. It's just an illusion, though.
The only end-goal that private online comms can reach is masturbating to the other person's nudes / sexts. Pathetic, disgusting, and degrading. It's treating the other as an amateur pornographer, albeit one you don't have to pay to receive content from.
I would never accept nudes from a girl that I wanted to actually to get physical with. They're just boner-pacifiers to distract from the fact that the girl isn't actually going to get it on with you, either because she lives too far away, or she lives close enough but only wants to tease you.
Not being on the dating apps, this isn't a problem, but if I ever were, I would never accept porny pixels in lieu of actually meeting and seeing if we have enough chemistry to take things further.
Millennials and Zoomers are so cucked by porn that they've made that their highest realistic goal between the sexes -- the girl providing porno content, and the guy jacking off to it, mediated by an online platform. Cannot get more pathetically against nature than that, without also having to pay for it.
That's why I never slid into Aimee's DMs, whether to whisper cringey nothings or ask for nudes or anything else. Either we're going to get it on for real, IRL, or not -- nothing in between, that fools the mind and body.
I can't speak for her, but I think it actually helped to build better tension and romance, communicating (semi-) publicly instead of "privately". So many things we wanted to say and do, but had to keep something of a lid on it, lest the bystanders get too grossed-out.
It forces you to sublimate your libidinal desires into writing songs or editing Aspie & Apu memes for public enjoyment, which is superior to corrupting your relationship into a free version of OnlyFans.
If IRL is not an option, there's only one way to go.