February 13, 2016

"Cuckin' for the 'Witz" (parody of Conservatism Inc.)

In the spirit of parody songs for the era of Trump, here's one about the failure of Conservatism Inc., sung to the tune of "Puttin' on the Ritz".

"Cuckin' for the 'Witz"

Glenn Beck's through, and blew his show,
Now must blow Jews -- why don't you blow
Now, call it quits? Cuckin' for the 'Witz
Old-guard hype that values gay
Views, George Will tripe, and throwaway
Views of misfits. Cuckin' for the 'Witz

Jeb is mute on million-job off-shoring
Greeted by a five-person outpouring
Snoring, boring!
Politics, where bed-a-fellas
Con the hicks. "Enjoy favelas!" --
Hypocrites. Cuckin' for the 'Witz

Have you seen the bow tie crew, acting like their blood is blue?
Talking heads for laissez-faire, with their la-di-da eyewear
Sly stats from lightweight scholars, trite brats and blogpost scrawlers
Pardoning GOP slime, "Homo sex is no crime!"

Glenn Beck's through, and blew his show,
Now must blow Jews -- why don't you blow
Now, call it quits? Cuckin' for the 'Witz
Old-guard hype that values gay
Views, George Will tripe, and throwaway
Views of misfits. Cuckin' for the 'Witz

Jeb is mute on million-job off-shoring
Greeted by a five-person outpouring
Snoring, boring!
Politics, where bed-a-fellas
Con the hicks. "Enjoy favelas!" --
Hypocrites. Cuckin' for the 'Witz

Jeb is mute on million-job off-shoring
Greeted by a five-person outpouring
Snoring, boring!
Glenn Beck's through, and blew his show,
Now must blow Jews -- why don't you blow
Now, call it quits? Cuckin' for the 'Witz
Cuckin' for the 'Witz, cuckin' for the 'Witz
Cuckin' for the 'Witz

Gotta prance!

Glenn Beck's through, and blew his show,
Now must blow Jews -- why don't you blow
Now, call it quits? Cuckin' for the 'Witz
Old-guard hype that values gay
Views, George Will tripe, and throwaway
Views of misfits. Cuckin' for the 'Witz

3 comments:

  1. jebbishnebbish2/13/16, 7:00 PM

    Great work. I came up with a ditty set to Everlast's What it's Like:

    We've all seen the cuck sweating under the lights at the end of the stage
    His shoulders are hunched, his wrists are limp, and his voice is very lame
    He turns to the folks to ask for their vote with fear in his eyes
    Fuck off Jabe you fuckin' flake is all they reply

    God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in his shoes
    Then you really might know what it's like to serve the Jews
    Then you might really know what it's like (4x) ...

    Hillary got promised high office by a hustler named Haim Saban
    He said don't worry about a thing baby doll you're my dream shiksa
    Six months later she gets cratered by a battleship named Trump
    She swears goddamn that man, I sold by soul and wound up in the dump

    God forbid you ever had to spend an hour with that shrew
    Then you really might know what it's like to serve the Jews
    Then you might really know what it's like (4x) ...

    This kid named Marco liked to make big dough doing favors for zog
    He liked to stay up late and keep pace with the khazar mafia
    Then one night he got enticed to join a gang led by old Chucky Schume
    He pulled out his mont blanc pen, put his name down and wound up ruined
    Now his wife and his kids are left to cry about what might have been
    Course they say that's what happens when you commit the sin

    God forbid you ever had ever had to wake up to hear the news
    Then you really might know what it's like to serve the Jews
    Then you might really know what it's like (4x) ...

    ReplyDelete
  2. What's "the 'Witz"? Paul Wolfowitz, or what? Some other Polish guy?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Generic signal for Jewish last name.

    ReplyDelete

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