April 30, 2014

Careerist women eating up sham wedding of careerist beard to closeted Clooney

Here is only the latest reminder (among many) from BlindGossip detailing George Clooney's 100% homo proclivities, not like you needed to be told. Ever wonder why he has zero chemistry with women? Why he acts instead like a mischievous 7 year-old boy who only teases and keeps his distance from the girls on the playground that want to play with him? He's a neo-Cary Grant for our newly naive, neo-Fifties culture.

But don't let the truth get in the way of a good BOO-YA vindication. In this case, from status-striving women who want their man-repellant choices validated. Here is a good example from the NY Post about how a 36 year-old human rights lawyer can not only make her career her foremost priority, but also land GEORGE FRIGGIN CLOONEY as her husband... IN HER FRIGGIN THIRTIES. That proves all the haters wrong — suck it, bitch! ("Or is it not feminist if I put it that way...?")

Nevermind that the wedding is a fake publicity stunt to distract the clueless fanbase from their sex symbol's penchant for boy-boffing. Then again, she may not mind if she's a lawyer, bent on desacralizing all human relationships through deceptive contracts.

Still, I doubt the typical career gal cheerleading from the peanut gallery could handle such a sham existence. They wouldn't feel the endorphin rush from knowingly serving as a faggot's beard, or from finding out about his lifestyle choices somewhere down the road, no matter how desirable they had originally found him. Their "have it all" dream is marrying their naive image of George Clooney, Straight Guy — not George Clooney, Please See Footnote Under Personal Life.

It's only one event, how large of an effect could it have? I dunno, with someone that famous and in-demand, it could warp the perceptions and ruin the prospects of millions of women. But, let's not be naive ourselves — it's best to stay out of the way of a stampede of rationalization once it has been unleashed within the female brain. Ain't no grabbing those bulls by the horns.

On the bright side, it'll weed out the bottom 20% or so on the cluelessness scale, and act as a loud warning signal for the remainder. She's drawn to George Clooney? — then she only wants the image, not the substance of a man. It'd be like some dude who dreams about the chance to hit on Gillian Michaels. Don't bother, move on to someone who still responds to our red-blooded sex drive.


  1. If I didn't know their secret I would think that closeted gay men were impossibly serious individuals, if not outright repressed. Their motives are missing, like Niles on Frazier. They act the way children expect adults to act, divorced from overt sexuality.

  2. hahaha, right on! Seems you called it before blindgossip did.

  3. Clooney's career is in no small part driven by his heterosexual appeal as a fantasy boyfriend to gen X and boomer women, but still. It seems strange now that an actor celebrity would be in the closet, if anything it would boost their career. It seems like he could just keep on doing what he's been doing and that a beard is unnecessary. He's bi at most.

  4. "It seems strange now that an actor celebrity would be in the closet, if anything it would boost their career."

    Not really, because women fantasize about him, or they did in the 90s. Plus, it would weaken Hollywood's pretension towards being a moral authority in the eyes of many, if they knew how many leading actors were gay.

  5. Clooney coming out would kill his appeal to women. They would feel betrayed -- like it would've been cool if they'd conceived of him as their gay BFF all along. But here they've been fantasizing about him, only to walk in on him with other men in bed. That's the ultimate in getting scorned.

    Ditto for his appeal to guys as the suave, sophisticated GQ poster boy.

    Nobody in his broad fanbase wants to view him as a fairy who puts his tongue up other dudes' butts.

    Someone in the BlindGossip comments speculated that the abrupt out-of-nowhere timing may be related to the underage homo orgy scandal centered around Bryan Singer. If it was circa 2000, it wouldn't be hard to imagine Clooney being a part of the scene.

    By getting engaged, he not only deflects any possible charge of him being gay -- which wouldn't be the worst news -- but more importantly, of being a debauched pervert who would take part in such parties. That requires not just a beard, but a broader propaganda war to make him look wholesome -- engagement and marriage, a ring that he designed himself, proposing over a home-cooked meal, bla bla bla.

    Get crucial, he was dialing rent-boy hotlines in his diapers.

  6. How do you know he's gay?

  7. See - all that studying has made me more attractive than the teenage Polish au pair next door. This proves it!

  8. I always found this idea interesting, but I see more and more proof. He also has that gray hair thing. Hilarious article saying an anecdote proves the haters wrong.

  9. Interesting - now that minions of post-wall feminists blew off all the good guys while in their 20s, I guess they will keep blowing off the remaining stragglers who might still be interested in them because - hey! they still have a chance to land a George Colony before they hit 40! Sounds like a cant-fail plan to be.

  10. Its just for mutual PR. He's not gay. Womanizer, yes. Self-centered, just a tad. Hocking Casamigos Tequila? Absolutely! It doesn't matter what you think. What matters is that he's thrown off the scent so the left hand doesn't see or understand what the right hand is doing.

  11. Maybe he likes to tease women because that's what they respond to.

    And being an incorrigible poon hound isn't necessarily gay.

  12. LOL at some pua wannabe so clueless about men and women that he rationalizes a peter pan faggot as a poonhound.

    Nothing says traditional alpha male like rushing through a sham marriage to a foreign beard-wife, all in order to head off accusations of being part of Bryan Singer's twink exploitation ring.


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