September 17, 2010

How gay/submissive is the contemporary young male?

The days of high-energy rock singers baring their hairy chests to spellbound groupies are long gone. After the sexual counter-revolution of the early '90s, men have become more submissive in general and borderline gay. You might have thought that it couldn't get worse than the Generation X scene of the early-mid '90s when guys found pride in holding their girlfriend's purse while she was busy picketing at a Take Back the Night rally, but it can get a lot worse.

I don't mean the whole metrosexual craze of the Housing Bubble era, since basic cleanliness and not looking like a societal drop-out aren't gay. That was more a part of the bling-bling coup de grace against the lingering grunge culture of the '90s, not a stand against "patriarchal normativity" or whatever.

Before I've noted how often I see males being driven around by females rather than the other way around, and that this is backed up by the fact that among young people females are more likely to have a license than males. That's pathetic -- not having a license, let alone a car, and having to rely on a girl to get to places. If it's just now and then for the sake of convenience, that's one thing, but it's inexcusable for it to be a stable long-term pattern.

Still, I think the sickest display of this trend is how young guys "back it up" into a girl's lap at a dance club. For those who haven't set foot in a nightclub for awhile, backing it up used to be an exclusively female thing, where her back faces the guy's front and she gradually moves backward so that her ass meets his crotch. Usually there's some degree of bending over on her part, occasionally so much so that she rests her hands on her knees or even on the floor. Basically it looks like a standing lapdance.

Now a non-trivial fraction of guys who approach girls do this as well, and it's been growing more common over the past three years that I've been going out to dance clubs in America. (I went out often in Barcelona in 2004-'05, but backing it up was not common even among girls there.) Given how sex-segregated Millennials' social life is, how timid the guys are, and how the girls lack the boy-craziness of the sexual revolution era, not that many guys go right up to girls at all. But among those who do, I don't know, around 10% or 20% or so make their first move in this way. There's something to be said for humorous and not-too-frightening ways of suddenly breaking into the circled wagons of a group of girls, but this is beyond gay.

It's not even like an attempt at a male erotic dance, like a standing lapdance. It's goofy, exaggerated, self-conscious, meta, etc. Girls never get turned on by it, and never scream or make catcalls at the guy (sincere ones anyway). They just have a quick laugh at his expense, although he seems clueless about that, and send him on his way after a brief display of his doofusy servility.

And it's not even the geeky types who do this -- again, they're too timid to make a move of any sort. I'm talking about normal-looking guys with friends and who could be school athletes. This shows how extreme the change has been over the past 20 years -- even someone who would have been the popular jock type in the '60s through the '80s is a loser today, and probably won't have his first sexual adventure until a much later time, and will have fewer partners, compared to some ectomorphic goth from the early 1980s, back when the sexual revolution was still pervading all sectors of society (not just the popular groups).

It's gotten to the point where Millennial girls get surprised and don't know what to do if you try to dance with them face-to-face. They know nothing other than variations on standing lapdances, whether it's the male or female who receives. Someone emblematic of the times, like Katy Perry, should re-record "Johnny, Are You Queer?" Back when it was released, it was about a guy playing head games, but it would make much more sense for it to be on the air today.

20 comments:

  1. As a Millennial who finds his own generation ridiculous, I ask you what should a man do?

    It seems to me that girls of my age would find a more direct approach something creepy or douchy.

    Maybe approach older women?

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  2. Before I've noted how often I see males being driven around by females rather than the other way around, and that this is backed up by the fact that among young people females are more likely to have a license than males. That's pathetic -- not having a license, let alone a car, and having to rely on a girl to get to places.

    I'll bet that a lot of these guys being driven around by girls have suspended or revoked licenses and therefore no choice in the matter.

    Peter

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  3. Damn.....that is fucked-up (guys backing into girls on the dance floor).


    These young males have obviously been brainwashed and mentally abused.

    I guess you could take a magic marker and write something like this above the urinals for them to see: www.roissy.wordpress.com

    Maybe that could help save them while they are still young.

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  4. Which generation model do you use?

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  5. my buddies and i were literally just talking about this whilst watching the vma's the other day. the hard party animals in hollywood now are fucking chicks. Chelsea Handler is the obnoxious, ballz out host. Fucking lindsay Lohan is a party animal extraordinaire. Colin Farrel was thelast semi decent one we had. now he's laying low. it's sad.

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  6. Males driven by females? OMG, where they driving muscle cars? Automatic gay guard for that one. Young guys "backing it up" dancing? Good news for agnostic, low carb dieting, cartoon aficionado, and insecure men: Elvis just called to say that pelvis-shaking will immunize them from turning gay.

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  7. Willard Libby9/18/10, 6:07 PM

    The days of high-energy rock singers baring their hairy chests to spellbound groupies are long gone.

    You mean like Freddie Mercury?

    Russell Brand managed to pull Katy Perry with his obnoxious metrosexual hairy chest open shirt style.

    Plenty of black rappers are out there shirtless showing off their muscles and six packs.

    I think you are trapped in some kind of White/Asian cultural ghetto. Fact is black males are as forward and obnoxious as ever in approaching and showing sexual interest to women.

    Caribbean latinos are as well. And Mexican latinos are known to engage in quite a bit of street harassment of women.

    I think your views are focused on a narrow White/hipster/dork element of society.

    There is plenty of male sexual aggression going on out there.

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  8. No, the sexual counter-revolution affects all groups in society, not just whites. The Youth Risk Behavior Survey, homicide data, etc., show that the wussification of society affects blacks just as much as whites.

    Showing off six-pack abs = gay narcissistic gym rat. And they are definitely not exuding machismo. Rappers from the '90s and 2000s are all about self-loathing and brooding and doubting, just like emo nerds.

    And then there's all that "I'm in love with a stripper" sort of talk -- just pathetic. Black guys lost their balls too.

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  9. twentysomething9/18/10, 7:13 PM

    I knew the guys had lost it when they began choosing high-end frames for their eye wear. Yuck.

    The so-called metrosexual look is just as gay as gay.

    Guys, go back to being guys, will ya?

    And, Agnostic...I agree that the 6 pack abs look screams, "I am so into myself I am looking to hook up with a guy just like myself."

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  10. I have a different perspective on this.

    Pioneering, ranging from the opening of the American frontier in the 19th century to the transhumanist stuff of today (space, life-extension, etc.) as well as entrepreneurship and technological innovation, in general, are very much a male thing. It is fair to say that these values and interests are the most positive expression of masculinity. However, these are overwhelmingly American values and attitudes. The pioneering spirit does not exist in any of the other cultures of the planet.

    If the world culture comprehensively rejects pioneering and innovation as an unfettered cultural in its own right, would this not suggest that masculinity is of very little value to such a society?

    My point is that masculinity and pioneering are intrinsically bound to each other. Masculinity has no value independent of pioneering.

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  11. Interesting idea kurt9 but I wonder if you are defining your argument though your American, and sorry to say, provincial mentality. Is pioneering an expression of masculinity, or did it flourish artificially because of oppression? Then it stands to reason, the world culture is rejecting inequality and celebrating both men and women.

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  12. Of course I have the American provincial mentality with regards to pioneering and masculinity. I believe that individual freedom (in the Lockean sense) and pioneering are superior to all other values. But I wasn't talking about this per se. I was making the point that traditional masculinity has mostly a destructive role when outside the American pioneering milieu.

    Is pioneering an expression of masculinity, or did it flourish artificially because of oppression?

    Both. Pioneering is the positive expression of masculinity. Its rather hard to deny this as most transhumanists, life extensionists, as well as the membership of the old L-5 Society are and were mostly male.

    Pioneering was suppressed through most of human history because of a lack of physical frontier combined with rigid hierarchical social structures. After all, it did take the black death killing 50% of Europe's population in order to liberate the continent from the "guild" system and to bring on the Renaissance.

    Then it stands to reason, the world culture is rejecting inequality and celebrating both men and women.

    Of course. This is the best option for the rest of the world.

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  13. Interesting argument but your last statement does not ring true. Pioneerism has a strong history in Australia, as it did in Canada, and I am sure in many African countries. In fact, rejecting authoritarianism was the catalyst for the foundation of those countries, and freedom was sought by both men and women. Hierarchical social structures are still embraced in Europe, and is a source of pride and not amarulence. The perfect storm included many other factors other than the plague, but I think history has settled that the parents were the Medici family.

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  14. Pioneering as a cultural value in its own right exists only in the U.S. and to a lessor extent, Australia and Canada. It does not exist anywhere else in the world. Europe had the Renaissance and Enlightenment, but somehow lost it along the way, probably because of their embrace of Romanticism, which was a totally irrational emotional backlash against the Enlightenment.

    I stand by my original point that masculinity without pioneering is very destructive (for example, typical Muslim male behavior).

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  15. "I stand by my original point that masculinity without pioneering is very destructive (for example, typical Muslim male behavior)."

    I hesitated to say this but It is obvious that your knowledge is based on selective reading, and not experience. The truth is what you perceive as typical male behavior is in fact a reflection of societal constraints.

    My premise is that men will mature into manhood, absent of pioneering experiences, and regardless of origin. Their mitescent behavior is the result of relationships with women (and offspring), and to suggest otherwise ignores biology.

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  16. I hesitated to say this but It is obvious that your knowledge is based on selective reading, and not experience.

    I have traveled extensively and have lived in Asia for 10 years. I know what I am talking about. My experiences have led me to the conclusion that a culture that values pioneering is superior to those that do not.

    My premise is that men will mature into manhood, absent of pioneering experiences, and regardless of origin.

    You continue to misunderstand me. There is no purpose or value to masculinity in the absence of pioneering. I stand by this point as correct.

    I will also say this: I am not a racist and I even do not believe in a lot of the HBD stuff floating around the net. However, I am a cultural supremacist.

    I believe that cultures that value pioneering, free inquiry, entrepreneurial work ethic, self-sufficiency, and individualism are superior to those that do not. Anyone who disagrees with this is just plain wrong, period.

    I came to believe this as a young adult and my international experiences have reinforced this belief.

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  17. "I am not a racist and I even do not believe in a lot of the HBD stuff floating around the net. However, I am a cultural supremacist."
    No clue what the acronym HBS represents. Never implied you were a racist. Cultural supremacist? I already knew you are American.

    You need to start your own blog for your hecatologue code. I am interested in the ninety-nine others.

    As my final comment, I leave you a gift for a blog title

    The Phlyarologist

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  18. Where does Jersey Shore fit into this?

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  19. Anonymous,
    AKA clever little boy who can google.
    Your xenizational posts are intriguing. Though, I can never understand why one vocitates themselves with a boring moniker. Hell, even the Borg collective had designations for their drones.

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  20. Hence gen Y guys who do act masculine and also have some social savvy can make out like bandits sexually with numerous gen Y girls.

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