How gay/submissive is the contemporary young male?
The days of high-energy rock singers baring their hairy chests to spellbound groupies are long gone. After the sexual counter-revolution of the early '90s, men have become more submissive in general and borderline gay. You might have thought that it couldn't get worse than the Generation X scene of the early-mid '90s when guys found pride in holding their girlfriend's purse while she was busy picketing at a Take Back the Night rally, but it can get a lot worse.
I don't mean the whole metrosexual craze of the Housing Bubble era, since basic cleanliness and not looking like a societal drop-out aren't gay. That was more a part of the bling-bling coup de grace against the lingering grunge culture of the '90s, not a stand against "patriarchal normativity" or whatever.
Before I've noted how often I see males being driven around by females rather than the other way around, and that this is backed up by the fact that among young people females are more likely to have a license than males. That's pathetic -- not having a license, let alone a car, and having to rely on a girl to get to places. If it's just now and then for the sake of convenience, that's one thing, but it's inexcusable for it to be a stable long-term pattern.
Still, I think the sickest display of this trend is how young guys "back it up" into a girl's lap at a dance club. For those who haven't set foot in a nightclub for awhile, backing it up used to be an exclusively female thing, where her back faces the guy's front and she gradually moves backward so that her ass meets his crotch. Usually there's some degree of bending over on her part, occasionally so much so that she rests her hands on her knees or even on the floor. Basically it looks like a standing lapdance.
Now a non-trivial fraction of guys who approach girls do this as well, and it's been growing more common over the past three years that I've been going out to dance clubs in America. (I went out often in Barcelona in 2004-'05, but backing it up was not common even among girls there.) Given how sex-segregated Millennials' social life is, how timid the guys are, and how the girls lack the boy-craziness of the sexual revolution era, not that many guys go right up to girls at all. But among those who do, I don't know, around 10% or 20% or so make their first move in this way. There's something to be said for humorous and not-too-frightening ways of suddenly breaking into the circled wagons of a group of girls, but this is beyond gay.
It's not even like an attempt at a male erotic dance, like a standing lapdance. It's goofy, exaggerated, self-conscious, meta, etc. Girls never get turned on by it, and never scream or make catcalls at the guy (sincere ones anyway). They just have a quick laugh at his expense, although he seems clueless about that, and send him on his way after a brief display of his doofusy servility.
And it's not even the geeky types who do this -- again, they're too timid to make a move of any sort. I'm talking about normal-looking guys with friends and who could be school athletes. This shows how extreme the change has been over the past 20 years -- even someone who would have been the popular jock type in the '60s through the '80s is a loser today, and probably won't have his first sexual adventure until a much later time, and will have fewer partners, compared to some ectomorphic goth from the early 1980s, back when the sexual revolution was still pervading all sectors of society (not just the popular groups).
It's gotten to the point where Millennial girls get surprised and don't know what to do if you try to dance with them face-to-face. They know nothing other than variations on standing lapdances, whether it's the male or female who receives. Someone emblematic of the times, like Katy Perry, should re-record "Johnny, Are You Queer?" Back when it was released, it was about a guy playing head games, but it would make much more sense for it to be on the air today.