September 11, 2008

Older women lying to younger girls about the best hair length

Since youth is the single most important factor for a female's physical attractiveness, it's no surprise that the over-30s try to cripple the invincible 15 to 24 year-olds, well intentioned as they claim their motives are. * Indeed, any free and unsolicited advice from them to youngsters about beauty matters should be assumed to be a Trojan Horse until proven otherwise. Lamentably, these more subtle methods are the only way to get the job done now -- not like back in the good ol' days when that jealous old crone lopped off Rapunzel's hair. Case-in-point: some propaganda on hair length from an About.com beauty expert.

Notice how the middle-aged writer's advice to 30-somethings through 50-somethings says that longer hair is sexier, and to at least aim for a medium length, short hair being the style that you're only forced into when you can no longer hope to look sexy. It seems rather clear-cut, then: longer hair is more attractive. (Ask any guy, and he'll agree.)

But when counseling the 20-somethings, in every one of the four paragraphs she tries to bully them into cutting off their hair:

- "This is the best time of your life to try out all types of haircuts and styles. Short hairstyles, done right, can make you look more mature (or like a kid)..."

Note the appeal to the desire to experiment -- and so much for the clear-cut conclusion, no experimentation needed, that longer hair is sexier.

- "Trying to make your way in a man's world? Chop off that long hair and try a shorter cut. Check out this photo gallery of super-short looks."

Notice how no career path calls for longer hair -- perhaps "professional" or "funky" hair. And why not give the same advice to 30+ women trying to make it in a man's world, unless they're already a CEO or senior partner at a law firm I suppose?

- "Experiment with length and color. Now is the time to see how you look with super long hair, then cut it off and see if you take to short hair. At your age, your hair will grow faster and thicker than at any time in your life. So enjoy it while you have it."

Hey, while you're at it, why not try being slim one season, and then pig the fuck out for a year and see if you take to being a lardass. At your age, your metabolism is faster than at any time in your life. So enjoy it while you have it, you bitch.

- "Beware the wrong short cut. What you don't want to look like is a stock 'Mom' character. Choose a short look that fits your age and the latest trends. For some ideas, check out these photo galleries of short cuts."

This entire tip just assumes that she's getting her hair cut short -- because you are chopping off your hair, aren't you? By the way, here is the gallery of short cuts. Most of them are tragic. Only the super-feminine can wear boyish hairstyles and not be confused with men -- jesus christ, look at Pink with short sleek hair. She looks like a man in prison. Here's a good example of a short cut on babyfaced Selena Gomez:



She still looks better with long hair, though, as does Audrey Hepburn and any other woman who could look good with short hair. Unfortunately, women are too gullible and conformist to beat back the unrelenting mob of hair-cutters, but like that aging advice columnist said, at least it'll grow back pretty fast. Let's just hope they don't screw it up a second time.

* It's the same reason that a girl sabotages her female friends' looks when they huddle together to plan what they're going to wear. The shrewd girl will persuade her friends to dress like borderline sluts -- not so bad that she couldn't be seen with them, but enough to make sure that she looks the most respectable. It's not to prevent guys from advancing on her friends -- it will probably invite that -- but to set the poor saps up for gossip, rumors, and dirty looks from their female peers, whose esteem they value more than that of their male peers:

"Omigod, why were all those girls back there looking at me so weird???" I don't know... I mean, you don't think it could be what you're wearing, could it? Like, could they be that shallow? "Omigod, what's wrong with what I'm wearing???!!!" Nothing, nothing, you look fine. I'm just saying, maybe they think it looks, like, just a little slutty -- I mean, it totally doesn't, but maybe that's what they were thinking. "Omigod, now they're gonna freakin' tell everyone I'm a slut!!!"

7 comments:

  1. As I understand it, some women actually do look better with shorter hair. If a woman herself is short, for example, she might be better off with shorter hair because long hair tends to accentuate her lack of height. Facial shape also may be a factor.

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  2. But age isn't involved, and that's what this advice columnist was driving at -- trying to get the young hottie competition to scar themselves.

    Plus guys don't care if a girl's short.

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  3. To SCAR themselves? Good grief.

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  4. Yeah, look at those pictures she's recommending -- for all but a few of them, a girl would be fucked for a long time if she copied them.

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  5. Anonymous10:39 PM

    Ive seen a small minority of women who look very cute with short, very boyish haircuts.

    However this minority really is small. They have to have very feminine, cheeky faces with large/cat-shaped eyes. It usually helped if they are slightly pair-shaped bubble-assed girls, and are very girlish and feminine.


    This look is "cute" but after 25 or so.....................its time to look like a LADY.



    There is a picture of a "former female blogger" or Roosh's blog at a bar with a drink in her hand. She is in a lovely-form-fitting dress, make-up tastefully applied, with bangs in the front and long hair in the back (Argentine cut according to Roosh). Its a tastefully fitted dress with an understated patern. Why can't more women have such good taste in how they present themselves?


    A fitting dress, with tasteful jewelry (necklace, small bracelets, normal-sized earrings), understated make up with a bit of eyeliner and lip gloss----bared shoulders, sensible shoes, can make a woman shine. She will really stand out amongst the gals who think its more attractive the sluttier they dress. Tattoos are disgusting.

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  6. Anonymous11:55 AM

    If your facial features are good enough, lots of hair distracts attention from them. There is a reason Audrey Hepburn appears with short/tied-back/pulled-up hair in almost all her movies. (Google her, there are almost no pictures of her with her hair down.) Furthermore, when your features are that perfect (and that feminine), a masculinizing move throws that into contrast, making your femininity _more_ apparent. Another example would be Linda Evangelista, whose career took off when she went with the bob. Going short says, "Fuck you, I'm so feminine, I can have boy hair and still be more of a woman than you." It really and truly separates the pretenders from the truly hot.

    This doesn't just apply to hair, but things like wearing army boots or some piece of barbaric jewelry.

    Thursday

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  7. Anonymous6:16 PM

    I'd like to point out that the pic shown here is of a girl w/ long hair that has simply been pinned back, it's not really a short cut. It's called a faux bob.

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