February 28, 2008

Opener to use on indie girls

This is a slight variation on an opener * I read on some website. It's best used on indie girls, or others who are fall under the Whiterpeople category.

"Hey guys, settle a debate for us. Today this group of preppy girls came over to talk to us -- y'know, really pretty but all wearing like the exact same khaki pants (shorts, skirts, etc.). (Slight pause while indie girls laugh at preppy girls' conformity.) And afterwards we got into an argument...is khaki a color or a fabric?"

The correct answer is that khaki is a color, and most girls know this. You can go into, "See, I was thinking it was a color, but the thing is that you never see a khaki car or wallpaper color or anything like that!" then fire into your next routine...

The original goes, "OK, so my friends and I were making fun of some frat boys," instead of the line about preppy girls, to introduce khaki. But it's pointless to rag on guys who aren't even there to stand up to your slander: it looks desperate and girls don't pay random guys much attention anyway. However, girls love nothing more than ripping apart their own competition; it's their favorite pastime. My change also adds a Demonstration of Higher Value -- a group of pretty girls came up to talk to you and your friends, so that you're pre-selected by women. But it makes it an inconspicuous detail rather than a bald boast, and it assuages the targets that you value them more for their indie cred than their looks, as with the preppy girls.

Indie band The Teenagers understand this, judging from the lyrics to their song "Homecoming". It crudely caricatures a tan, SUV-driving American cheerleader, who the British narrator fucks and leaves. ** The female fans of this band are too naive to realize that they're being gamed by the band, who during performances ask young girl fans to come up on stage to ironically play the role of the cheerleader in the song, and no doubt whom the band has an orgy with later on.

On a sidenote, indie girls are a lot girlier than I remember when I used to go to the 9:30 Club or Black Cat in high school (a little over 10 years ago). There's still the intolerable snobbishness about who follows the most obscure bands, but they've toned down the brooding depression and aggressive sarcasm a lot. Also, no more grunge-influenced clothing, where dresses or skirts could only be worn if they had been donated to the Salvation Army by octogenarians. And now look at them:



* An icebreaker used in bars or nightclubs.

** Gangsta rappers are allowed to talk about fucking and leaving a girl, without a peep from Whiterpeople, since any criticism of any aspect of Black culture is racist. With The Teenagers, we see that Whiterpeople themselves can get a free pass if they disguise it as a song about the hip European fucking and leaving the stupid American SUV-driver.

8 comments:

  1. ha. welcome to the dark side. you'll never go back.

    that teenagers song is hilarious. it's the perfect distillation of what an indie song should sound like. and some guys just look like rockers, no? like they were born to hold a guitar or a mic and wear extra medium t-shirts.

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  2. Sven DiMilo2/29/08, 6:12 AM

    And now look at them
    Oh, all right...if you insist...twist my arm...etc.

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  3. Heh, well I don't know about "dark side" -- I'm using the PUA material just to be better in social gatherings generally, not to pump and dump. Once I heard about the 7 hour rule, I figured that's a bit too much time, especially when you start from scratch with the next girl.

    There's a trade-off between intensity and quantity of interactions, and I'm aiming for the middle where I can make out with 4 or 5 good-looking girls in a night, times however many nights I go out.

    Yeah, part of the rocker look is being short, which blogger / commenter Thursday collected some data for. If you're short and skinny, there aren't too many ways for you to get attention, and fronting a band is one of them.

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  4. Dude, if you're short, check out Cajun on Keys to the VIP, a Canadian show where PUA's face off in a club.
    Cajun is interesting because, as one of the experts informs us, he has actually evolved beyond the point where he needs to use conventional PUA strategy (negs etc), and his body language and simple confidence draw all too him.

    He discusses this in 'advanced body language' on his blog. Also interesting - his discussion of jaggering, which a short guy could really pull off in a club.

    Here he is on keys to the vip:
    Un.
    Deux.
    Trois.

    Cajun is an example of how astonishing mastery of the game can make you.

    Not sure where I originally discovered this link, but if you linked to it on some gnxp post or something forgive me!

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  5. Ick,
    Indie music has been infiltrated by the "My Chemical Romance" set of teenyboppers, if looking at The Teenagers webpage is correct. Hopefully Frankie Lymon will rise from the dead to take his revenge on the name-stealing scenester nerds.

    Well, it's been 10 years since Neutral Milk Hotel anyways and I'm almost 30. Indie is dead, time to switch to Neo-Lounge.

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  6. Indie is dead, time to switch to Neo-Lounge.

    Everything is "dead" now -- if you try to do something different, it's all over 50 obscure music blogs that have thousands of readers, plus YouTube. It's simple for the first round of infected people to spread it to others -- just link to the blog or YT.

    Before, it had to spread through zines with no readership, word of mouth, etc. Now, you just have to know which website to visit to see who the next cool band is.

    Before, people used to complain about hearing a certain sound for the past couple of years (and centuries ago, probably would've complained about a sound lasting a decade), but now the writers of music blogs complain that they've been listening to the same sound for the past 3 to 4 weeks -- time for something new.

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  7. I might just try that one next time I go to concert featuring an NPR band.

    I'd like to share an opener I've had some success with, especially when it comes to getting girls to dance. When I see a set dancing or near the dance floor I'll go up and ask my target to dance. If she says no I reply in confident and joking manner, "I don't want to marry you; I just wan to dance." This usually works on girls who initially decline or claim to have a boyfriend. My friend claims to have invented that opener, but I don’t believe him.

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  8. Spike Gomes3/4/08, 12:51 PM

    What I mean by "dead" isn't that it's become mainstream popular. I really don't care about that. What bugs me is when it starts getting a teenybopper vibe, particularly of the shriekish blend.

    If anything neo-lounge has been around as long as Indie rock has and probably even predates it, since it's more or less an electronically infused version of Bossa Nova and West Coast Jazz.

    If I was pissed about Indie getting popular, I would have ditched it in 2001-2002, but that isn't my beef. Also, I should note that when I say teenybopper, I'm not making a comment on chronological age.

    Hey, if a teenager wants to listen to what I like, great, more power to him/her. What I don't like is an entire genre zeitgeist moving towards servicing the off-putting aspects of youth culture. If I want that shit, I'd just listen to Hannah Montana, Fallout Boy and My Chemical Romance.

    ReplyDelete

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