Opener to use on indie girls

This is a slight variation on an opener * I read on some website. It's best used on indie girls, or others who are fall under the Whiterpeople category.

"Hey guys, settle a debate for us. Today this group of preppy girls came over to talk to us -- y'know, really pretty but all wearing like the exact same khaki pants (shorts, skirts, etc.). (Slight pause while indie girls laugh at preppy girls' conformity.) And afterwards we got into an argument...is khaki a color or a fabric?"

The correct answer is that khaki is a color, and most girls know this. You can go into, "See, I was thinking it was a color, but the thing is that you never see a khaki car or wallpaper color or anything like that!" then fire into your next routine...

The original goes, "OK, so my friends and I were making fun of some frat boys," instead of the line about preppy girls, to introduce khaki. But it's pointless to rag on guys who aren't even there to stand up to your slander: it looks desperate and girls don't pay random guys much attention anyway. However, girls love nothing more than ripping apart their own competition; it's their favorite pastime. My change also adds a Demonstration of Higher Value -- a group of pretty girls came up to talk to you and your friends, so that you're pre-selected by women. But it makes it an inconspicuous detail rather than a bald boast, and it assuages the targets that you value them more for their indie cred than their looks, as with the preppy girls.

Indie band The Teenagers understand this, judging from the lyrics to their song "Homecoming". It crudely caricatures a tan, SUV-driving American cheerleader, who the British narrator fucks and leaves. ** The female fans of this band are too naive to realize that they're being gamed by the band, who during performances ask young girl fans to come up on stage to ironically play the role of the cheerleader in the song, and no doubt whom the band has an orgy with later on.

On a sidenote, indie girls are a lot girlier than I remember when I used to go to the 9:30 Club or Black Cat in high school (a little over 10 years ago). There's still the intolerable snobbishness about who follows the most obscure bands, but they've toned down the brooding depression and aggressive sarcasm a lot. Also, no more grunge-influenced clothing, where dresses or skirts could only be worn if they had been donated to the Salvation Army by octogenarians. And now look at them:



* An icebreaker used in bars or nightclubs.

** Gangsta rappers are allowed to talk about fucking and leaving a girl, without a peep from Whiterpeople, since any criticism of any aspect of Black culture is racist. With The Teenagers, we see that Whiterpeople themselves can get a free pass if they disguise it as a song about the hip European fucking and leaving the stupid American SUV-driver.