February 14, 2023

"Virtual Angel" (valentine for Gawr Gura, parody of the Penguins)

To celebrate today, a tribute in the style of duwu-wop. Performing tonight, the group that's got all the sharks' a-swoonin'... The Parasocialiners.

This is technically written in first-person singular, but it's on behalf of the entire fandom, not just one crustacean crooner.

Lyrics here. The original is by the Penguins (here), though below I'm embedding the more dramatic arrangement of the version from Back to the Future. It was also covered by New Edition around that time for The Karate Kid Part II (here). I'm imagining a rendition that combines the lead vocal and instruments of the BTTF one, and the group vocals of the original or the New Edition one (since the BTTF version sadly only has the one voice).

For the sweetest shark in the sea. Muaaa! ^_^

Pronunciation guide: "lols and loli-ness" have the same stressed vowel (as in "all"). To squeeze "virtual" into the space of "Earth," use the rest beat in the line. There are 4 beats, with "ang-" landing on 1 and 3. In the original, beats 2 and 4 are rests, with "Earth" coming in on the off-beat after 2 and 4. So, put "vir-" on beats 2 and 4, with the two quick syllables "tu-al" trailing into the offbeat after. It's a bit more packed than the mellow original, but at least it fits.



* * *


Virtual angel, virtual angel
Will you be mine?
My sharky dear
On and offline
I'm just a noob
A noob whose buff is you

Virtual angel, virtual angel
My heartache unborked
Together so edgy
Ebi and shork
I'm just a noob
A noob whose buff is you

You swam right through, the cathode tube
Uplifting with your lols and loli-ness
I post and I fave, to repay
And be uplifting of your chat, chattiness

Virtual angel, virtual angel
Please be mine
My sharky dear
On and offline
I'm just a noob
A noob whose buff is you

You swam right through, the cathode tube
Uplifting with your lols and loli-ness
I post and I fave, to repay
And be uplifting of your chat, chattiness

Virtual angel, virtual angel
Please be mine
My sharky dear
On and offline
I'm just a noob
A noob whose buff is you

7 comments:

  1. Faunya and I sharing one braincell today! I couldn't keep count during the karaoke stream, how many times I said something and a few minutes later, she said it too!

    The best one was her singing "I'm Yours" -- I was going to request that for anyone singing today, but I knew that would backfire. Specific requests rarely make it on. So I just channeled the energy, and like the others time I've done that, it worked!

    I forget which song it was that Mumei did last time, or the time before, that I was going to post a comment here requesting, but knew it wouldn't work. Then she sang it anyway! (Not a regular song either.)

    Only time I recall a karaoke request here making it into the performance is Gura singing "What Makes You Beautiful" on her birthday karaoke. I'll never forget that, Goob, it will always mean a lot. Really testifies to her crowd-pleasing instinct as a performer. :)

    I did manage to gently bully, er, persuade Fauna into singing "Take Me Out", after she said she thought Franz Ferdinand was a joke / meme band -- and she claims to like post-punk revival as her fave genre. Mmmm-hmmm, I said, then why nothing from their killer debut album? I didn't specifically request any song from it, though -- just said give it a chance and it'll change your mind about them.

    Also pleasantly surprised to hear all the Zoomer-friendly songs from Fauna today, stepping out of her Millennial / 2000s comfort zone. Sounds like she's scouting out new recruits for her Zoomer harem -- I mean, cool younger girls who will adopt her and make her feel specially chosen like when she was the only senior in high school gym class, and got adopted by that clique of popular freshmen girls. ^_^

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  2. Oooh, a double-dose of "I'm Yours" tonight, thanks to the Moom-meister. Plus early '60s R&B, '80s adult contempo ballads, 2010s Taylor Swift, and everything in between of a lovey-dovey nature. In our irony-poisoned environment, it's such a breath of fresh air to hear someone singing mature romantic ballads sincerely. :)

    While explaining what "head voice" vs. "chest voice" is, she related it to what her male audience might understand, like falsetto being akin to head voice. Only she didn't say "male" -- she kept saying "dudes"! Millennials and Zoomers might use dude(s) as an exclamation ("Dude, you'll never believe it!"), or referring to specific people ("There was this dude / There were some dudes...").

    Using it in the plural to refer abstractly to males in general -- that's a Gen-X-ism, hehe. "Dudes have falsetto, so dudes can understand what head voice is, since most of my audience is dudes" or something like that. She was talking like a teen or college babe from the '80s!

    Where on Earth did she learn that usage of "dudes"? -- why, from the category tag in the most recent post here ("Dudes and dudettes"). Everyone else, probably Gen X-ers themselves, use "guys" or "boys" or "men" or whatever. I chose "dudes and dudettes" for '80s lingo style points. No way she saw that somewhere else with that usage.

    One of the cutest and heartwarming things girls do is start to pick up words and phrases from guys -- or rather, dudes -- who they start respecting, looking up to, intrigued by, having a crush on, etc. Now now now, I know it's not the last one, just saying that's one example of the broader phenomenon.

    I said it before, but that actually feels better as a form of acknowledgement from dudettes than when they just follow me around public spaces, catcall, grab my butt in the danceclub, etc. That's strictly physical. Incorporating a dude's language into your own is more of a sign of social / emotional connection, which we're much more deprived of in our alienated collapsing empire, compared to merely getting laid.

    And it means more coming from Mumei, who started off her vtuber journey being more closed-off emotionally, and if anything letting her paranoid / suspicious streak take over. She's become a lot more open to making connections with others, and trusting them. Feels good to be one of those newly trusted people. :)

    And I try not to overdo it, so I refer to her in the 3rd-person, since she's a watcher / voyeur and feels more comfortable not being directly seen and addressed in 2nd-person. Tee hee.

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  3. Also appreciate Moom taking a page out of Goob's book by personalizing a pop standard, so that it sounds more affectionate between her and her audience.

    During "Never Gonna Give You Up," she switched the last word of the line "You wouldn't get this from any other guy". She could've done the basic sex pronoun change, to "girl" -- but she went further, with "owl".

    Gura does this all the time, e.g. "Lonely is a shark without love" or putting "chumbie" in place of a generic guy being addressed (like "Santa Baby" to "Little Chumbie"). I do this back to her in the lyrics I write. :)

    Now she's not just interpreting a standard, she's adapting it, in a small but impactful way, to make it sound like she herself is expressing this emotion to her audience. Instead of the original about standard boy-girl romance, now it's about the social-emotional bond between a performer and her audience, which has some similarities to bf / gf, as well as being friends.

    But friendship isn't monogamous, you can have tons of friends, even several best friends. But when it's bf / gf and marriage, then it's monogamous. You're worried if the one person is going to leave you, or getting that one person's attention, etc.

    So when Mumei says no other owl could give the audience "a full commitment," or Gura sings about being a lonely shark without love, it plays into the (potential) gf facet of their overall performer role. Likewise when their fans make memes, write lyrics, etc., referring to them as shark, owl, etc. -- they're focusing on just that one who goes by that alias, instead of "streamer" or "content creator" or "e-girl" or "friend" or whatever.

    Just as there are gf-ish roles that the streamer can play, there are bf-ish roles that the audience, as a whole, can play. That's why everyone was streaming like crazy today. :) It may only be one facet of their relationship, but the quasi-bf/gf thing is there.

    I'd say it's more like close friends who are confidantes and occasionally get a little flirty with each other, but don't actually take it to the next level. But that's still bordering on bf/gf.

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  4. Also it is currently ovulation nation in Hololive, another powerful motivator to stream lovey-dovey stuff on Valentine's Day. I don't have it down to the day, but I think Fauna and Irys are about week 4, and Gura and Mumei are about week 3, of the monthly cycle. Safely out of the "just leave me alone" week 1, as well as the getting-back-on-their-feet week 2.

    Smack dab in the middle of the calendar month is where all their "smiley and giggly" weeks 3 and 4 overlap.

    They could generate some instant-classic content if they collabed this week, any ol' slumber party type of game (Minecraft, Devour, Propnight, etc.). Strike while the iron is hot!

    Another idea for Kiara's Girls Talk show -- what it's like during weeks 3 and 4, during and after ovulation. We usually hear about week 1 only -- PMS, menstruation, cramps, etc. -- which guys do need to understand and appreciate. But we already know a fair amount about that week, and now we'd rather hear about the positive side to the monthly cycle -- it can't be all bad!

    I'd rather call it "the ovulatory cycle" than "the menstrual cycle" for that reason. Focus on the good and constructive and exciting part of it, not the "painful coping with loss" part.

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  5. And no, you don't really need to devour every hour of content the girls create in order to get a good feel for where they are. Although if you're a regular viewer, it should be apparent after a few months.

    But as a timely example, in that recent stream where Mumei blamed Kronii for being a bad dad in her dream, she started off the anecdote by stating, "So last night I dreamed about having a baby..."

    Ovulation status? COMMENCED

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  6. To celebrate Gura finally getting to make her dakimakura (body pillow case with her likeness), here's another duwu-wop ditty, after another classic. Instead of day vs. night, it's online vs. offline.

    https://genius.com/The-five-satins-in-the-still-of-the-night-lyrics

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdtTN51_raM

    Even when she's not streaming, with her avi making facial expressions and speaking with her voice, you can still be with her in a physical-ish way with the body pillow. And here's an earlier parody of "Barbie Girl" I wrote, "Daki Girl", to humanize the phenomenon, so to speak:

    https://akinokure.blogspot.com/2022/04/daki-girl-aqua-parody-body-pillow.html

    * * *

    In the still
    Of offline
    I held you
    Your pillow design
    'Cause you're here
    Via your clone
    I promise you'll never
    Dream alone
    In the still of offline

    Hang together
    Offline all day
    Your art
    Calls out so much
    I cope
    That some way
    You feel
    My dis-tant touch

    So until
    You're live
    Cuddle beside me
    And send me a sign
    In the still of offline

    ReplyDelete
  7. Slow-dancing around the room with dakima-Gura, as weeping sax solos punctuate our duwu-wop prom playlist...

    On that note, see also "Angel Baby" (apropos of the loli princess, since the singer was 15):

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bu2dAQ3xb8s

    One of the few doo-wop songs in a female voice, so one that Gooba could cover herself during karaoke. Maybe slip in a little adaptation to her audience, and make it "Angel Chumbie(s)". ^_^

    ReplyDelete

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