February 12, 2023

Girls think dreams are real, guys think they compete against reality (childlike vs. grown-up nature)

Well, I wrote a whole 'nother post in the comments section again, but this time it's quite a bit off-topic and something I normally don't write a whole lot about, so figured I'll draw your attention to it here in a new post, if you don't read the comments.

I won't copy-paste it, just link to the first comment in the chain. You can react here or there.

It's the mixture of tones you expect from the most interesting person on the internet -- comical, serious, pop cultural, academic, totally unexpected yet immediately relatable, etc.

And it all started with a little vignette from a vtuber's stream -- aside from their entertainment value, and social-emotional bond, good streamers provide inspiration for discussion. Couldn't have done it without you babes. ^_^


  1. I once had a sex dream about the shark-girl idol. I'm sharing this not to divulge what I dream about -- I could've said so however-many months ago it was. But no reason to blab about it.

    However, now that we're on the topic of reality vs. fantasy, and is there dream-truth vs. dream-fiction, and vtubers inspiring my brain to go all over the place...

    It was in someone's bedroom, I think hers because it wasn't like any bedroom I've ever lived in. No clue how I got there.

    Lying on the bed is a form of Gura merch -- something my brain came up with that was like a mixture of a dakimakura (body pillow with babe's picture printed on both sides of the pillowcase, which I don't even own), and a blow-up doll (again something I've never used).

    It was like three rectangular seat pads, and they were sewn together, and folded into a flattened S or Z shape. The bottom pad was her lower legs, the middle pad was her upper legs, and the top pad was her upper body. Where the bottom and middle pad were sewn together, was her knees; where the middle and top pad met, was her butt. Folded like this, it was meant to look like she was resting on her shins or knees, with her butt pointed out for doggie style.

    It was all printed to look like the character or avatar that shows up on her streams, in her merch, etc. -- bright blue, white, shark theme, anime look, etc. Just some inanimate merch.

    Well, as I puzzle over what this thing is, I notice a... hole where the upper legs and torso meet. I forget if I curiously touched it, or just looked at it the right way, but after a few moments, it turned bright reddish pink, and suddenly -- this pile of merch morphed into the real-life body of Gura's voice actress!

    Yes, the actual person, not with blue-streaked white hair, not with triangular teeth, or wearing a blue hoodie, not wearing anything in fact. She acted as though she was already in the process of getting it on, she bent over, and wanted to take it, looking over her shoulder.

    So I gave it to her, rhythmically, while she reached out to grab a bedpost or headboard or something to support herself. It wasn't that fake porny jackhammer stuff, she was bracing herself cuz she was just that into it and felt a little wobbly and weak in the knees.

    She was moaning the whole time, but I didn't hear it in her distinctive voice, just some vague moaning. If my brain had been at 100%, I would've heard those "caffeinated Gura noises" from the Kirby stream last March, hachi machi!

    I don't remember how it ended -- probably woke up in the middle of it (no, it wasn't one of those dreams).

  2. So even in my dream, I had separated the character from the actress, and much like the songs I write about this cultural format, it involved the character / product taking on a life of its own, entering the real world, and interacting physically with me.

    She was so pent-up -- I think it was supposed to be a "genie in a bottle" theme. She, the IRL voice actress, had been spiritually trapped in the merch made to look like the character she plays. Then along comes a fan with the magic touch, and it frees her from her inanimate merch prison. Think of how long those hormones had been bottled up for -- she wanted it so bad! Hehe.

    And it wasn't like she was manic, ordering me to do her right away, fake porny screaming etc. It was more like that look of sheer cathartic relief when you've been holding something in and finally get to release it. Like when you've had to take a whiz for awhile, and finally go -- it doesn't feel ecstatic, and it doesn't feel bad either, it's just some physiological process your body has to complete, and you're grateful to finally be back to normal.

    But it does feel very intense, and we were both VERY into it.

    It simply wasn't a wild passionate crazy sex romp, it was her needing it so bad just to feel normal and whole and HUMAN again, having been freed from her merch prison. Maybe more like a cathartic massage to release a bunch of tension that's been building for a long time?

    Not a fake porny scene. It felt like, "Oh my God, Gura and I are getting it on for real!" -- not because I confused a dream with reality (I'm male-brained, I don't do that), but because it was the real person behind her virtual avatar, not the crude pile of merch manufactured to look like her character.

    Always love these dreams that play on the nature of fiction vs. reality inside the dream itself. I don't dream much, or don't recall them anyway, so it's a very rare but very appreciated treat from my subconsciousness. ^_^

  3. None of the other chumbos out there will feel jealous toward me for this dream, because as guys they know that this act never actually took place. The guy just dreamed it up -- maybe we're jealous of his "layers of fiction" kind of dream, that sounds kinda cool, but we're not jealous over him "having sex with" Gura, since it was only a dream.

    I know it's foolish to try to reason with Gura herself, since she'll probably interpret this is as something that actually happened, or something I deliberately thought up as though fantasizing during waking life. But it wasn't! Girls just don't understand that we dream about stuff that we have no control over, and that doesn't really happen IRL.

    ...Which is not to say I regret dreaming it. Gura is my oshi. ^_^ If I'm going to uncontrollably experience a sex dream with any character / actress from the supposedly artificial world of the entertainment industry, it had better be with her.

    Only trouble is, gee whiz,
    I'm streamin' my life away

  4. Back to song lyrics, Bobby Darin's "Dream Lover" is an interesting one. Almost all the way through, it's a double-entendre between the female-brain and male-brain viewpoints. That is, you can interpret it equally as being about finding an imaginary lover in dreamland *instead of* finding a real person in reality, or as being about finding a real-life lover who is so desirable and fulfilling they *seem as though* they came from dreamland.


    When he's praying before going to sleep, is he praying, "Dear Lord, give me my wildest sex dream ever"? Maybe. Or is he praying, "Dear Lord, send me a real girl who's good enough to live in dreamworld"? Maybe that too.

    Old songwriters have pretty clever lines that you don't notice unless you're studying the lyrics. And normally I'm not, cuz music is music, and the lyrics are just there to prop up the music.

    But "I want a dream lover, so I don't have to dream alone" is a really nice double-entendre. It could mean he doesn't want to be alone in his dream world, and wants an imaginary lover to make his dreams "eventful" (as much as they can be in that artificial world).

    But it could also be a play on the word "dream" to mean the physical act of sleeping in bed, while the brain is in a dreaming state. In other words, he doesn't want to *sleep* alone -- he wants an actual real girl right there next to him in bed, and they will both be dreaming together, i.e. sleeping by each other's side while their brains enter the dreaming state. Again she's a "dream" lover not because she's imaginary, but dreamy, as though she came from a dream, etc.

    The bridge continues the equivocation -- "I don't know how" because it could occur in the dream world, or in the real world.

    But there are a few lines that give away that he's talking about wanting a real girl, not just wild and crazy dreams. "And the hand that I can hold, to feel your near as I grow old". The first part may refer to "holding hands" only in dreamland, but the second part sounds like something that can only happen in reality. Feeling you near as I grow old, whether he's waking or sleeping. You don't really have an awareness of growing old while sleeping. That clearly sounds like a married couple sleeping next to each other, night after night, before falling asleep and dreaming.

    Then this passage:

    Dream lover, until then
    I'll go to sleep and dream again
    That's the only thing to do
    Till all my lover's dreams come true

    This sets up an opposition between dream world and real life. "Until then" says under what conditions he will have his dreams come true IRL -- and until that happens, he'll make do with the fantasies of dream world. Same deal with "Till".

    And when he refers to his lover having dreams of her own that can come true, that is clearly about a real-life woman who has dreams just like he does -- he doesn't mean a dreamworld woman with dreams within the dream-world. Her dreams come true just means she meets her own dream lover -- i.e., the singer -- IRL and they become a couple in real life, no longer having to get by on the fantasies of dreamland.

    However many times I've heard that song, I never paid attention to the lyrics that closely, and figured he was taking the view of "let's just indulge my fantasies as a permanent coping mechanism". But "So I don't have to dream alone" most likely means not having to sleep by himself in hid bed in real life.


  5. "Dreamlover" by Mariah Carey is neither here nor there, since it uses the phrase only figuratively. The lyrics don't talk about being asleep, waking up, are dreams real, are they fiction, etc.

    Seems like people just stopped dreaming, literally, sometime after the '50s or '60s. It's hard to think of more modern songs that talk about the process of dreaming while asleep, waking up, and so on, instead of a one-off figure of speech.

  6. Some dream songs from the Sad Seventies, all three by men and in the male-brained genre of dreams not being real, realizing that, and feeling down about the reality (whether or not the dream being copium is a good thing or not). No close readings this time.

    "I Can't Live a Dream" by the Osmonds (original by Frankie Valli, also covered by Engelbert Humperdinck)


    "Dream Weaver" by Gary Wright


    "I Like Dreamin' " by Kenny Nolan


    Hadn't heard that last one before, but it's pretty good '70s stuff.

    I'll keep posting here when I can, going through Wiki's list of songs about dreams and nightmares. Most of them are not about dream world vs. reality, sleeping vs. waking, etc. They're just using it as a one-off figure of speech, especially in the sense of aspirations.

    So far, no examples after the '80s, whether male or female-brained. And the examples go back to the '50s, '40s, '30s, 1900s... I really think people, or Americans at any rate, just stopped dreaming after the '80s -- right when we needed dreams to get us through cocooning and neoliberal yuppie hell in our waking lives.

    But dreaming is a kind of hopefulness, so maybe after neoliberalism ran rampant, we gave up hope and literally stopped dreaming. The things we take for granted in a healthy society...

    I really can't believe how rarely I dream or recall them anymore. Not that I do, but they're boring instead of flying around like when I was a kid dreaming. It's just nothing.

    I'll bet my cat dreams more than I do! I know it's not just muscle movements, I hear him growl sometimes like he's fighting another cat, and I pet him and reassure him that it's OK, I'm right here, he's not dreaming alone. He's clearly imagining himself in a realistic scenario, perceptible through his senses.

    But he doesn't know he's living through a collapsing empire and neoliberal fragmented shithole, so he has no reason to shut off hope, and his brain has no reason to turn off the dreaming process. I really envy the little big guy sometimes...

  7. More evidence of America's decline: a train containing toxic chemicals derailed in East Palestine, Ohio in possibly America's version of Chernobyl and none of the major newspapers or news networks are covering the incident.

  8. https://www.wsj.com/articles/ozempic-side-effects-weird-dreams-9ccdb749

    The examples where gender is given are all female.


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