September 17, 2021

Today's dance report

I started off with a bit of pogo-ing to Dookie by Green Day, but it was not enough to give me that electric ape energy that I truly craved at the time. So I changed the disc in the player to ESPN's Slam Jams. Oh hell yea. "One Step Beyond," "Dancing With Myself," and "Private Idaho" all got me bouncing and jumping around like a jungle shaman possessed by the gorilla god.

As my skin became saturated with simian sweat, I got down to just my underwear, raw ape style. Much greater freedom of movement, as well. Now that the tropical rainforest season is over, I need to find new ways to burn off water weight, other than long walks outside.

Followed it all with a quick, cool shower at night, something I normally do not find the need to do. I no longer smell like a dang paperback book cover.

And oh how sweet that truly is, my friends. All for now.

(With props to the coffee reports from the OG groyper)


  1. I blasted "Electric Love" for the college kids tonight (and occasional high school groups), still on that high from last night. A great night of dancing will last longer than that session alone!

    I mainly aimed it at the main drag through campus, calibrating the playback so it would play "that part" near a huge crowd.

    This time, unlike last year, I decided to go further and shout a call to action out the window, so they had no excuse not to play along!

    "OK, grab that special somebodyyyyy!!!"

    "You know what this song means!!!"


    I tried out various tones. One was like a gym class coach, kind of admonishing but also encouraging. Y'know, "Ok men, let's get out there and hustle!" And another one was more of a mischievous prankster, like "We're waitiiiinnnggg" but not annoyed or disapproving, just restless and impatient for everyone to join the trend.

    I couldn't check to see who was taking part in the "kiss your friend" activity, since I aimed it at large crowds. But it was a total hit, from surveying the faces. A few people assumed I was going to start making out with someone, and spun around to get a voyeuristic look. So I tried to make the call to action early, so they understood I'm encouraging them to do it, rather than inviting them to check me out.

    Obviously everyone under 25 still vividly remembers this song, but now they were way more smiley upon hearing it than last year. In 2020, it was just the current trend. Now that everything sucks so hard in 2021, it's a welcome breath of fresh air.

    Hard to emphasize how much the culture has completely ground to a halt, not merely stagnating, in 2021. TikTok itself got progressively transformed into the A/V version of Tumblr or Twitter, rather than its own organic thing from last year. Thanks to the Trump admin forcing the Chinese to put the platform under Silicon Valley stewardship, while operating in the US.

    Now it's just another gay-ass Silicon Valley thing, unrecognizable from last year. Sad!

    But, as long as I have that Borns CD that I picked up for a few bucks on clearance at the used bookstore, the heady coming-out-of-your-shell atmosphere of summer 2020 will never die.

    Oh, and there was a MILF who recognized the song, too! I saw someone walking two dogs on a suburban sidewalk, near my old elementary school, in fact. She froze dead in her tracks, whipped around, like "Hey, that's the song my son / daughter was playing last year!"

    Then she's surprised to discover it's a random hot guy playing it, not two teenage lovebirds. I gave her a quick catcall, to reward her knowledge of cool trends, and also because she was cute.

  2. Too girly man. Try:

  3. Too try-hard. If you're dancing like a jungle shaman in the danceclub, you will have all the males trying to join your hominid hierarchy, and the females begging to get close to you.

    Not the dork squad either -- I'm talking the frat bros and sorority chicks especially.

    Don't overthink it, and just get into the mood with new wave. Girly-man music would never be officially approved by ESPN either (at least not back in the '90s).


You MUST enter a nickname with the "Name/URL" option if you're not signed in. We can't follow who is saying what if everyone is "Anonymous."