I assume most of those on the right have been outright suspended (along with left martyrs like Aimee Terese), but even lefties are pulling the plug. Among the handful of big-ish Twitter accounts I used to read, Heather Habsburg has joined fellow tall-girl poster Alison Balsam in the great beyond, Shialabeefsteak has gotten out of leftoid Dodge, and @as_a_woman and @shamshi_adad are usually deactivated. On the right, @that_groyper keeps remarking on how joyless the platform has become.
To encourage this exodus from social media, I wrote a song to the tune of "Dammit" by blink-182, to resonate with the bittersweet acceptance and moving-on stage of a break-up.
* * *
"Well I Guess This Is Logging Off"
It's alright to tag me
The hot takes about me
Their motives are see-through
They cancel for pageviews
The status competing
And endless subtweeting
The discourse is hollow
So please hit "unfollow" now
The third rails, the clout chase
The woketards, their arms race
In need of detoxer
Did you hear, he doxxed her?
A melee, a thought court
I'm posting the post-mort
On moral blackmailing
My network is scaling down
And I facepalm once again
I'll DM a friend
Someone who's still not banned
And won't hide behind deadpan
But every site's a slog
And I'm scrolling for too long
I'm going back to blogs
Well I guess this is logging off
Well I guess this is logging off
And maybe I'll see you
In the comments at YouTube
A wry joke, a tad lame
Familiar account name
I'll reply, and you'll fave
We'll pretend it's not gay
Our heyday is long past
So press F, I've left the chat
And you'll facepalm once again
You'll DM a friend
Someone who's still not banned
And won't hide behind deadpan
But every site's a slog
And you're scrolling for too long
You'll be going back to blogs
Well I guess this is logging off
Well I guess this is logging off
Well I guess this is logging off
Well I guess this is logging off
Well I guess this is logging off
Well I guess this is logging off
Already the airheaded technophilia of the 2010s is starting to give way to technophobia as satirized in this upcoming cartoon:
ReplyDeletehttps://m.youtube.com/watch?v=toBGv7yvIV8
Nice touch of the camcorder dates being 2005-'09, to remind people the big shift was not online vs. offline ('90s), but parasocial media vs. not (2010s), or online as a complement vs. substitute for reality. Also makes for a nice echo in the 15-year excitement cycle, now that we're in the early 2020s.
ReplyDeleteKind of a WALL-E vibe from that trailer, another link to the late 2000s.
Anna Khachiyan looks like Elastica singer Justine Frischmann, on her Ashkenazi-looking days. Not Ayn Rand or some other freak like that. Both had short hair at one point, too.
ReplyDeletehttps://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn%3AANd9GcRfRB9wDqnqgvw9by288FSqjexjuW2SZkAbFQ&usqp=CAU
https://jaddeyekabir.files.wordpress.com/2019/11/m43z23kfk8j11.jpg?w=584
Picked up their debut album on CD at a thrift store for 90 cents, and remembered their videos from MTV way back in the day. I thought, "Now there's a Jewish girl that Anna actually (occasionally) resembles, not Ayn Rand."
Me rounding up posters who left the social media rat race, and taking them on a free-spirited journey back to online nature (blogs, MySpace, Flickr), where they finally get to have carefree fun and self-actualize.
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmUZ6nCFNoU
Yeah I'm an MPDG: Mystic-Pilled Diary Girl. (Just thinking about one of the accounts mentioned in the post, who's free to steal this awesome name for when she starts a blog, after social media.)
ReplyDeleteYeah I'm an MPDG: Marxist Phoenician Double-F's Groyper. (She too is free to steal this awesome name to match her fan-made avatar, when she reincarnates as a blog, since she's permabanned from social media.)
ReplyDelete