August 8, 2022

"Holo Streamer Girls" (Beach Boys parody, vtuber tribute)

All the talk about vocal harmonies in the comments to the last post got me thinking about writing some tribute songs about my favorite vtubers, set to some '60s songs for a change. Although I did parody a Beatles song before, on a similar theme, with "Online Man".

So why not start with the greats and riff off of the Beach Boys, and their classic "California Girls"? (Original lyrics here.) Only instead of different regional cultures of the nation, it's different sites and formats from online.

Like the original, it's a tribute to the other types of girls as well, but giving special love to the ones in the title, and wishing all the other types could eventually become them as well.

California was the It Place to be, and now so is streaming and vtubing. Warm, welcoming, fun, exciting, dynamic, and a social scene (albeit online) linking everyone together. Even if you live in flyover country, you can still draw on their good vibrations through their mass-mediated content, and feel almost like you're part of their world.

And just like the cultural center Out West drawing those from Back East -- so that only 1/4 of the Mamas and the Papas were from California -- today's scene has drawn aspiring people from the East Coast to either of the two streamer centers, Austin and L.A. I assume that includes the vtuber princess herself, Gawr Gura, whose southern New England accent and no-BS attitude remain signatures of her persona, even as she enjoys more sunshine and mellower neighbors.

Can you imagine trying to build such a scene in New York? LOL. 'Eyyyy, I'm streamin' ova heeeeeah!

Pronunciation guide: no stress on the middle word in "ALL-too-REAL".

* * *

Well, podcast girls got wit
I really dig those takes they share
And on fitness TikTok, when they're doing squats
They'll lift you right up into the air

The join-me-daily vloggers
Make you feel part of their life
And the Insta cheffies really love to treat
You can't stop at just one bite

I wish they all could be Holo streamer
I wish they all could be Holo streamer
I wish they all could be Holo streamer girls

There's so much wholesome mischief
In their virtual wonderland
I dig the singsong voices from kawaii avis
And the hugs from invisible hands

I've scrolled all around the big platforms
And I've liked all kinds of girls
But I'll always escape to the Hololive babes
And their all-too-real alterna-world

I wish they all could be Holo streamer
I wish they all could be Holo streamer
I wish they all could be Holo streamer girls


  1. Fauna, a suggestion for your shorts:

    Some day a *real* rain will come and wash all the scuff off the streams...

    Classic line from Taxi Driver.

    Keep the pitch, breathiness, etc. the same as you normally speak, but borrow De Niro's tone of doomer resignation. Maybe slow the tempo a bit from the movie, so the audience can clearly hear it, and for added dramatic emphasis.

    Imagine you're looking back on some huge tech problem from one of your streams, and shaking your head -- you're not all frantic, irritable, or frazzled, because that's only how you felt in the moment when it was happening.

    You're calm because it's over, but by now you're numb to it having happened what seems like too many times. You're jaded and resigned, yet still holding onto a shred of hope that some day you will get your payback against that damned wifi / K100 mic / frame-dropping graphics card / etc.

    This doomer / resigned tone from the original will contrast comically with your adorable singsong girly breathy voice.

    Oh, and make your avi the black-toned emo Fauna!

    This is also referencing another meme -- the online guy who thinks he's Travis Bickle, Patrick Bateman, any Ryan Gosling role, etc. Except instead of some loner incel guy, it's a warm blossoming anime babe. :)

  2. Actually, before you say that line, you have to set it up, with an image or clip (or two or three) of some particular instance of scuff.

    Like in the Taxi Driver clip, they set it up by showing the faceless dark street scenes, and his line is a reaction to that environment. It wouldn't land as hard if it weren't set up first.

    Maybe two or three short clips from your own streams, where you're saying things like, "Frames doko?" or "Oh no, I just cut my hand on the mic!" (Switch Sports), or "Why is this left ear mic muffled? Enhhh..."

    Clippers might already have some of those ready, or you could recruit them to do some new work.

    Clip 1, clip 2, maybe clip 3, then the line, and gradual fade-to-black (to let it sink in with the viewer).

    If this is too much work for a short, you can just put it on the back burner for a future break.

  3. You crave new wave? Blue fave to save!

  4. Bae, please: play these Eighties ladies!

    'Kay, geez...

    Oh, I wanna bantz with some chumby
    I wanna spicy meme with some chumby
    Yeah, I wanna bantz with some chumby
    With some chumby who's dummy (thicc)

  5. Lots of sharky scream queen goodness the past two streams. In case you're too gay to have at least dipped your toes into the vtuber waters, you're really missing out on these iconic character types.

    You won't find them in movies, TV, Netflix, etc. Gura would've been working in those mediums if it were a few generations ago, but they're falling apart, along with the rest of society's institutions. So it falls to the vtubing and streaming mediums to help connect these talents with their audiences.

    What's new in the vtuber medium is that, not only do you get to hear a wonderful scream queen, as in classic horror movies -- but streaming is a kind of reality entertainment. You're there hanging out with her as she plays these video games, scaring her to death at times.

    So rather than watching a fictional character scream at the fictional threat in a movie, this is more like a simulation of hanging out with your gf or having a girl in your friend group, when you're watching the same scary movie together, and she gets scared and screams within the same room that you're in.

    It's the cutest possible thing girls can do in that situation. :) Or riding a rollercoaster, or some other thrill-seeking activity like that. It's not actually deathly afraid, it's more like a scream of excitement, followed by some laughter at how scary it is. It highlights that it's all in good fun, it's not actually a dangerous activity that you should all get afraid of.

    Also makes you think of them leaning close into you, gripping your arm or whatever, out of sudden shock. Awwww, looking for that male protector in a scary situation, cute! Or maybe you're just eager to throw us out there first, as the sacrifice so the women & children can get away. Hehe. Either way, very wholesome simulation. Can't get it anywhere else.

    And like I said, it doesn't even have to be your gf. I remember hanging out in mixed-sex groups in high school, and they would do that as friends, sitting next to you. :)


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