June 20, 2022

"She Will Be Sub'd" (Gawr Gura birthday / 4-mil subscribers celebration, Maroon 5 parody)

To celebrate the birthday of the sweetest shark in the streaming seas, as well as her hitting the 4-million subscribers milestone, here's a tribute song to the Vtuber princess herself, Gawr Gura.

It's set to the tune of "She Will Be Loved" by Maroon 5 (original lyrics here). I'd been writing some lines down for it already, but then she performed it for the first time during her 4-mil subs karaoke special. That sign from above convinced me to flesh it out into an entire song for a proper post, and not just put up a fragment in the comments section.

It's not from my perspective, but an imaginary early diehard fan of hers, who helps keep her motivated during the uncertain initial stages of a content-creating journey. Before she was signed by Hololive and attracted millions.

She's been entertaining and bringing audiences together since she was in high school, and I was struck by a YouTube comment to the effect of, "Wow, that was Gura? I can't believe I've been following the same person through three different personas for nearly a decade..." That just goes to show that it's not only brand loyalty to the single creator behind various incarnations that makes her so popular -- you would be drawn to her various accounts even if you were totally ignorant of her constant presence behind the scenes!

Someone like that super-fan must've been there encouraging her in one way or another. Probably several such people -- this song is condensing them all into a single voice.

What better occasion to reflect on her origins, than her birthday and mega-subscriber milestone? Especially to keep in mind that a star's destiny is not always apparent at the outset, and that they have to overcome setbacks and persevere through phases of tension and doubt. I think the bittersweet portions of the Maroon 5 original keep it from sounding like a purely joyful celebration, or a triumphal high-fiving.

She's soldiered happily onward throughout her posting career, and she deserves to feel proud, although she's too gracious and kind to indulge in too much public reflection -- but that's what we're here for!

Big hugs from everyone you've touched over the years, even us latecomers who initially ignored the Vtuber phenomenon as "people watching people play video games," instead of seeing it as must-attend parties hosted by a captivating entertainer.

Pronunciation guide: the stress pattern basically matches the original, but that itself is too unusual in places to spell out here. The only thing to clarify is in the bridge, there's stress on the word "on" in the phrase "they're WISH-ing ON her STAR".



* * *


Meme-ing teen just started streaming
She forced herself to leave her shell
Hosting parties to not feel lonely
She cured their loneliness as well

I sailed through sites and sites
And crashed upon your shore
We'll make your channel a lighthouse
And nations will come explore

Cheering live while you play your games
And staying even when you're dropping frames
Go browse the girl with the scuffed profile
Promise someday it'll be worthwhile

And she will be sub'd
Yes she will be sub'd

Download my drawings, play my fan-songs
I want to make you feel uwu-ful
Sometimes the content feels like such a chore
But powering off would be premature

It's not only handhearts from gigachads
The lowbies combined keep you strong
The vibe's so fun, and they're always returning
You've made them a place to belong

Cheering live while you play your games
And staying even when you're dropping frames
Go browse the girl with the scuffed profile
Promise someday it'll be worthwhile

And she will be sub'd
Yes she will be sub'd
And she will be sub'd
Yes she will be sub'd

She questions how high she's held in regard
Other side of the screen, they're wishing on her star
Both on and offline, she can feel so small
I'll be her back-up when she just wants to uninstall

Download my drawings, play my fan-songs
I want to make you feel uwu-ful

Cheering live while you play your games
And staying even when you're dropping frames
Go browse the girl with the scuffed profile
Promise someday it'll be worthwhile

And she will be sub'd
Yes she will be sub'd
And she will be sub'd
Yes she will be sub'd

(Please don't leave your flock to go offline)

4 comments:

  1. Always a pleasant surprise with new-to-me music whenever Gura's singing. Tonight on her 3-D b-day concert, it was "Recipe" by Tatsuro Yamashita. At 21:30 here:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsFr7NzVVM8

    That bass-line sounded like it was a B-side from Style Council, a la "Long Hot Summer". But it's actually from 2019, part of the '80s revival of the mid-2000s through the 2010s.

    The original vocal is male, and a bit constricted in its airflow, like he's being struck by an acute pain. Maybe it fits with the lyrical tone -- I don't know Japanese.

    But this slow, moody, vintage-y arrangement was made for a silky smooth low vocal, like Gura when she gets into full-on sharky chanteuse mode. Still sounds tinged with sadness, but not gripped by pain like the original. Again, can't speak to how it fits with the lyrics, but the lounge-y chanteuse vibe blends so well with that mournful yet funky bass-line.

    BTW, I've been wearing those same glasses since 2014, hehe. Mine have a slight rose tint to them (but then, they would). Made in Japan. Scored them at a thrift store for a few bucks -- and they're distance lenses, in my prescription! Such an amazing find.

    I thought I saw you wearing my glasses when you were the color commentator for the WWE 2k22 stream, but those had thin gold frames, and these have dark-brown frames. Really adds to the '80s vintage vibe of the song. :)

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  2. Her "karaoke" streams are not like the name suggests. I've mentioned it before, but worth repeating for those who haven't seen them.

    They're only somewhat simulating the experience of going to any ol' club, and there's an enthusiastic amateur on the mic, who may or may not be able to carry a tune.

    And yet it's not a concert, where she's been rehearsing each step for months in order to blow away the audience. (Tonight was a rehearsed concert, though.)

    It really is more like a sim of a lounge where a chanteuse is serving the audience a melange of familiar faves and pleasing curiosities. But instead of a man sitting at a piano nearby, there's a karaoke program.

    The intimate atmosphere of that simulated lounge can actually scale up to a live audience in the 10s of thousands (her usual for karaoke streams), because she isn't looking out at an intimidating mass of bodies in a giant stadium, which would be required for such an audience size IRL.

    The chat flying by doesn't really give the impression of a huge audience, just a lot of frenetic activity. You can't distinguish individual screen names at that speed, so for all you know, it's just a few dozen or even hundred people going nuts over and over. You can't tell that there are 10s of thousands in attendance.

    And no, the numerical view counter does not convey that size either, it doesn't get physically huger and huger until it takes up 2 screens, or 200 screens, as the audience size explodes.

    Mass-scale coziness -- it takes the right talent, but it's one of the few things that online platforms are good for.

    ReplyDelete
  3. The Pop Tarts revival continues! A few months ago I noted a strange Pop Tart synchronicity, where a leftie cottagcore account (Thotton Mather) was baking her own version, and the RETVRN to nature rightie Groyper (on Gab) began including them in his daily coffee reports. Well, Groyper is back on his Pop Tart kick, although Thotton Mather has privated her Twitter, so who knows?

    Buuuut, out of nowhere, Gura, Kiara, and Ina from Hololive did an hour-long Pop Tart taste-testing IRL:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRaOtpqvEx8

    Now there's a cross-brand collab opportunity -- Hololive x Pop Tarts.

    Goob-berry! Blueberry filling, and silvery-white frosting with hints of blue.

    Shark Bait! Minced shrimp meat filling, salmon-pink icing, stacked vertically in a special glass chum jar, not the usual cardboard box.

    Sweet & Savory Sapling! Pungent moss-green filling, with citrus-flavored / chartreuse-colored icing. Once you bite into it, you may never be the same. Special wax-paper wrapper, so your ASMR mic doesn't peak from the rustling. :)

    Such fascination for Pop Tarts springing up in so many places, seemingly independently of each other.

    I have no idea what this trend means, but it's uncanny how much steam it is picking up!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Aimee Terese x Pop Tarts = Deranged Tarts! Featuring a seductive red-brown alliance of strawberry and chocolate fillings, glazed in a fig and gardenia icing.

    * Not to be stocked on the same shelf as the rival Collapse Tarts. ;)

    ReplyDelete

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