How do two ghosts requite their love for each other, relationally, not only in their private feelings? Doesn't that presume that they were once physically embodied and close, in contact, earlier during their existence?
Even as ghosts, aren't they portrayed as being in proximity to each other, like Catherine hovering outside Heathcliff's window? Or Sam following Molly around in Ghost, moving the objects of her environment, and eventually slow-dancing with her while possessing another person's body? A mirage is something your eyes are beholding right-here and right-now.
They can continue to requite each other's love, still entangled, as long as it is an extension of their earlier corporeal bonding. There must be a tangible basis for something that becomes more ethereal and spectral, when a barrier like death or great distance separates them.
In our case -- two virtual presences in each other's minds -- we never shared that initial, fundamental, unmediated direct sensory connection. Eyes holding onto eyes, voices vibrating eardrums, breathing in your blooming scent, tasting your lips on my lips, hair brushing against my neck as your head fills the void above my shoulder.
We tried to leapfrog that stage of a relationship, and skip all the way to the "ghostly lovers separated by fate" stage. Without having first connected, though, it feels like we're only ever going to be permanently leading each other on, never to be satisfied.
No one is to blame here. Online communication is so novel, it lured us into feeling as though we had already met each other, when the reality is that we will never (we both being rooted in lands on opposite sides of the globe).
I didn't fall out of love with you, and there's no new online-girl who I've moved onto. I just realized that the medium that connects us does not allow for real romantic love -- even of the separated souls kind -- but that we could still sustain a relationship that was closer to friends, since that is nowhere near as physically intimate, as embodied of a relation, as lovers.
But if somehow the current collapse severs our roots, ushering in a new age of widespread migration, we will be the first to find each other and wander the new wilderness together.
October 21, 2021
Re Aimee T's musings on unrequited love in a virtual world