September 10, 2022

In a socially fragmented world, guys would LOVE to get friend-zoned (and streamers as friend simulators)

Just wrote an entire post's worth of content in the comments section, as usual. I'll copy & paste it below.

It started with a reaction to Gura's stream tonight, but then got carried away on a number of related tangents. But the basic theme is what the title of this post says. If you're not much of a stream-watcher, give that link a try. It's short by streaming standards (under 3 hours), pretty conversational (not just video gameplay), covering a range of topics, and a spicy meme moment from the chat. You can treat it as a podcast, to play in the background while you do other things, if the game itself doesn't interest you.

Only thing I'll add is that, based on her saying that she likes the clothing styles of cottagecore and dark academia, she is clearly a former or current Tumblr girl (maybe as it migrated to TikTok as well). Like most, or maybe all, of the other Hololive girls, in fact. During the woketard purges of the mid-late 2010s, these girls gradually went into hiding. Now that the woke culture war is dying out in the broader society, and there's a whole new entertainment format that woketards don't control -- livestreaming, especially when they're hired by Japanese companies -- these Tumblr refugees can come out of hiding and bless the world with their cursed-yet-cute personas.

A few years ago, "Tumblr" had only negative connotations, because Tumblr demons had taken over the platform. But now that the Tumblr angels have a safe space, as it were, maybe the brand can be rehabilitated.

* * *

Awww, Goobi hosted an unhinged hang-out party for us, even though she's been in a "head hurty" mood this week. We'll always be there as an audience when you need someone to unload your emotionally drained brain on. I'm pretty sure it was her monthly debuff (as Wolfabelle phrased it), not anything threatening, thank God.

I really like this aspect of girly-girl streamers -- they let you into their lives by going through the things that have been bugging them lately, and whether you actively respond or just provide them with an all-ears audience, it lets them work the frustration out of their system.

Just like being actual friends with them. :)

One of the things I really despise about the girl-hating culture is complaining about when girls complain to guys about the mundane goings-on of their life. "Oh great, what's it about now?" And complaining about not being sure what to say, or whether to say anything at all. Just be an audience, then, they're just looking for some support, so they can get better and be the supportive girly-girl in your life once her head is back on straight.

I really don't understand the girl-hater ignorance toward this behavior -- she's *chosen you* to be her audience, not just any old schmo. That means she values your relationship, otherwise she'd either be talking to someone else, or would just clam up altogether out of paranoia and distrust.

It's really the twin phenomenon to the whiny man-haters (who are also girl-haters, or "female misogynists") who complain about having to do "emotional labor" to support a guy in their social circle. As though it's unpaid therapy, and she gets nothing else out of it from him.

But the reward to the listener is that the person working out their problems is not going to just leave afterward, like the patient of a therapist, who don't see each other outside of their sessions. Rather, they're both involved in each other's lives, so by helping out someone with a problem (even just feeling cruddy during shark week), you're helping to get back a source of support for yourself.

You both depend on each other, so helping the other is also helping yourself. It doesn't require further compensation. But the girl-haters and man-haters (again, the same type of people -- people-haters, misanthropes, etc.) act like it's a burden, and they would need something further.

That's because misanthropes don't actually value social bonds with other people, so helping another person is *not* helping the misanthrope -- who doesn't feel like they ever get anything out of the other person, even when that other person is in a good mood and full of confidence.

All of which is to thank Gura for providing a good role model for the other side, our side. She's a girl-liker and guy-appreciator, not a depressed misanthrope.

Thank you for trusting us and relying on us when you need it -- we'll always be there for you, Goob. :)

* * *

"Emotional tampon" -- that's the phrase the functionally-gay manosphere girl-haters used. Exactly the same as "emotional labor" used by the feminazi whiners. Two sides of the same misanthropic coin.

Imagine thinking you'll ever get a girl to trust you enough to feel comfortable being physical with you, without seeing you be supportive in low-stakes everyday situations like "listening to me go over what's been bugging me lately".

They thought there was a video game cheat code that would allow them to circumvent actually developing a social-emotional bond with a vagina-haver, before getting her into bed. That's what they spent all that time in the manosphere doing -- studying tips, memorizing lists, doing homework. They treated it like it was GorlFAQs.

"Emotional tampon" referred to the suckers who were doing things the hard way, the old way. The ones who didn't have the secret knowledge of what cheat codes to enter into the computer program of the female brain. That knowledge belonged to the geniuses.

Turns out, no, there's no cheat code, and you'll never get laid or have a steady gf or wife (unless you're really hot, which they are not). That's when the real bitterness and girl-hating took off. Back in the 2000s or early 2010s, they were fine to just gripe about women on the internet, if they could enter the cheat code for casual sex each weekend. When the cheat codes didn't work, all that was left was their own bitterness and misanthropy.

The whole "mens rights activists," etc., just the flipside of being a man-hating feminazi. Trying to out-woke or reverse-woke the feminists. Sadge.

* * *

I'll go out on a further limb and say that most guys under 30 or 40 today would be *ecstatic* to be "friend-zoned" by a girl, or several girls at once (ooh la la).

The pejorative sense of getting put in the friend zone is that you stood a decent chance at getting into a bf / gf relationship, or maybe just a fuck-buddy relationship. But like Chris Rock said, you took a wrong turn somewhere, and ended up in the Friend Zone -- NOOOOOO!!! Now you're just her Platonic friend.

Back when people actually did have sex with each other, especially in a casual hook-up way, then yes, that would've been a huge failure, and it would've stung bad for awhile. You might never stop regretting that one time you got friend-zoned by your crush, speculating forever in your own mind what you could've done differently to have gotten into the other f-zone with her.

But now that young people have stopped having sex, especially on a frequent basis (not just a one-night stand or two to last all year), the alternative to getting friend-zoned is not becoming fuck buddies. It's not a missed opportunity at casual sex. If you're not in her friend-zone, you're not in her any-zone.

Fewer young people have enduring friendships than ever, some literally don't have a single close friend who they confide in, and who confides back in them. In this new dystopian reality, yesterday's nightmare is today's paradise -- "Wow! A girl actually wants to be close friends with me?!?!?!!!!"

I think the girl streamers sense this shift in what guys are looking for when they interact with girls online. Aside from a minority of coomers (close to zero with the Hololive girls), they're not there in a girl's chat to hit on them, ask for nudes, or otherwise act like the platform is a fuck-buddy finder. The chat and the streamer both know that Tinder etc. already exist for that. And those platforms are already done for, among the majority of guys, since by now it's an open secret that only the really hot guys will get anywhere using them.

Instead, they're there actively seeking out a friend zone! Because the alternative is not the fuck-buddy zone, it's the no-friends-zone, the worst of all.

And as the girl streamers occasionally confess, during a momentary lapse in their self-monitoring (hehe), they appreciate the chat acting as a collective friend group to them as well. The friendship simulator feeling all-too-real goes both ways. :)


  1. You may appreciate this.

  2. Re: Gooba's question, I'd love to see react content from the Holo girls, as long as it was mainly their reactions, and interacting with chat about it, rather than just playing other content and passively watching.

    And to distinguish it from other react content, best that it not be from the usual played-out sources (daily dose of internet, livestreamfail, etc.).

    You know what would be right up the Goobinator's alley? INFOMERCIALS. They shouldn't trigger copyright either -- it's just an ad, and what company wouldn't want free advertising? The product or rights-holder or the rights themselves might not even exist anymore, so no harm no foul.

    I'm thinking of all the times Gura has reminisced with chat about iconic infomercials from her childhood in the 2000s. It's something nostalgic and unifying, and a topic I haven't heard much about elsewhere. There are tons of classic informercials from the '90s as well -- no better way to hop on the '90s revival trend than watching some Amazing Discoveries infomercials, with the wacky-sweater-wearing host. xD

    And related to that -- COMMERCIALS. She reminisces like crazy about those too, and always gets lots of warm fuzzy reactions from chat as well. There's a YouTube channel with nothing but vintage commercial compilations -- 80s Commercials Vault or something, but it has '90s and after, too.

    If you wanted to get meta, you could even play 3 minutes worth of retro commercials, every 30 minutes or whatever, during your own livestream, to simulate the feeling of commercial breaks during live TV broadcasts. Only these would be enjoyable, not annoying. And they would keep chat engaged during the break while you stretch your legs, get something to eat, go to an idol meeting, etc.

    (Or have some creative fans / in-house talent make some parody commercials specific to Hololive, vtubers, gamer grub / fuel / merch, etc., to run instead of the other brb / loading screens, for mid-stream breaks.)

    I suppose you could to watchalongs, if the corpo is too uptight about it, but what could possibly be wrong with watching commercials? They were paying the TV channels to air them -- and streamers would be airing them for free!

    Even if the product no longer exists, it would still boost the current brand to get the audience feeling positive about their brand. I dunno.

    Other random things from that stream:

    - I think you might've been thinking of clubbed / warped fingers and hands from looking into Cimorelli, as I've been shilling them lately. Several of them have brachydactyly, making their fingers shorter and more crooked than usual.

    - Your present self may want to tell your past self not to dance outside to vocaloid music in front of the family, but then you wouldn't *be* your present self! Our favorite entertainer would've had her performing dreams crushed, her practice suppressed, and she would be just another boring account on the internet.

    - Love the earthy sense of humor -- it's not gross-out juvenile type humor, but doesn't shy away from earthy / spicy humor either. Hard balance to pull off, but you do it well.

    Finally, fan-made MMD of Gura dancing and singing to "Classic" :)

  3. The spirit of Goob was with me tonight! Been looking for a certain CD at the thrift stores for awhile, and there it was -- and only one dollar!

    Take Me Home by One Direction. :)

    It would've been hilarious to my early 2010s self to think that I'd be hunting down physical media of boy bands from that time, 10 years after their heyday. But things have a way of winding up crazy crazy crazy. So tonight let's log on -- and simp while we're young!

    Why does this sound like a cheesey yearbook message? Hehe.

    --Agnostic / That Blogger Guy / Face to Face / Dusk in Autumn

    UR 2 cute 2 B 4-gotten

  4. Wow! I haven't been laughing that continually since I don't know when. You really got something here, Goob! Lemme just process my thoughts here for a second...

  5. OK, for those who didn't catch the stream live, it was a general knowledge game show hosted by Gura, with 6 other Hololive girls as the contestants. And rather than making it a deadly serious kind of contest, like for a prize, it was more like 7 cute young girls are having a party on Saturday night, and they decide to play a trivia game around the kitchen table / living room. Their distinct personalities all play off of each other, and comedy and excitement ensue.

    This was NOT a typical stream format, it clearly involved a ton of preparation, organization, and conceptualization ahead of time (especially on the technical side). Usually streams are spontaneous, like "Hey guys, I'm playing such-and-such game tonight -- hang out with me and we'll talk about whatever comes to my cursed-yet-cute mind, teehee! :) "

    So first, hats off to Gura for pulling this new format off -- it took a lot of effort, and it was totally worth it!

    It was reminiscent of a skit from a sketch comedy TV show, like the parody game shows on SNL, with super-stock characters being played by the actors. But here, the show itself was not a joke -- the questions and answers were true to a trivia contest, not worded to be jokes in and of themselves. And the contestants were being themselves, not playing a stock character or a celeb. But since they all have distinct personas, it almost felt like those old sketches.

    And there was no script they were following, they were answering genuinely and ad-libbing any jokes / comments / etc.

    I think the funniest personality contrast was Gura vs. Gura! She is fundamentally an instigator and pot-stirrer, and ADHD / spontaneous / etc. But here she is playing the role of game show host -- the one who's supposed to keep things in order, keep things moving, enforce a uniform agreed-on set of rules, not fly by the seat of her pants, and so on.

    You could totally see a little devil Gura and a little angel Gura sitting on big Gura's shoulders, whispering what she should do. And the animation reflected that, with her eyes looking around in silence while the gears were visibly turning in her head. Great way to build suspense before we see which little Gura ultimately won over the big Gura.

    Usually in a game show, the host has personality or charisma, but he's not actually a character in the drama, which is between the contestants, or the contestant vs. himself (like when he chokes). If she had been totally polished and neutral, it would've felt like that familiar format. And even if she'd been totally unfair, just constantly punishing the contestants who had the right answer, accepting bribes from those who had wrong answers, etc., it would've been funny for a minute, but gotten old over the course of the stream.

    With Gura being an instigator, having ADHD, and being somewhat mushy and persuadable -- not a doormat, but not a martinet either -- while also trying to move along her own game show, it made her thoughts, feelings, and actions central to the dramatic tension or emotional conflict of the show. I know she didn't plan that out, but she's hit on a great way to play the game show host!

    That also elicited some grade-A grade-grubbing from the contestants, since they saw an opening -- "Oh yay, this is one of those teachers who will negotiate with students!" But since she's still somewhat assertive, it wasn't just the students taking over the classroom when there's a substitute teacher or something. And they didn't disobey her or pout when she ruled against them.

    That added a lot of suspense into a game show, where usually the only suspense is "do the contestants know the answers?"

  6. "The whole "mens rights activists," etc., just the flipside of being a man-hating feminazi. Trying to out-woke or reverse-woke the feminists. Sadge."

    Lots of actual issues with the legal system and the family court is quite legitimate. Many good Fathers and Husbands being destroyed.

    Those witches have been at it since the 1800's. They do need to be defeated.

  7. And the commercials! Daaang gurl, you know what they say about girls with big heads -- they must have big brains! Seriously, that was some lightning-fast turnaround from "fan blogger guy suggests making Hololive parody commercials for their own livestreams" to it actually happening, and while live rather than as a pre-recorded separate video!

    I'm just a suggester, though -- you might say an eccentric and visionary suggester, hehe, but still, I didn't execute anything. All the credit goes to the talent on and behind the screen.

    I checked Twitter to see the buzz about it, and it turns out Gura had wanted Kronii to read a toothpaste commercial ever since Kronii debuted, because she has such a smooth commercial voiceover tone to her voice. Not long after, a script was worked out (by Gura? by a fan named Pravaris? I'm not clear on those details), and Kronii read it during a superchat section of her channel's stream. This is all a year ago.

    So rather than re-invent the wheel, when time is of the essence (the stream is later in the same day that the rando blogger suggested the idea), they took what they already had available and polished it to perfection. Before, there was no pre-recorded commercial, no visuals of people brushing their teeth / smiling / dentists / etc. And no Hololive logos or branding. And Kronii only did the one take, on the spot, during the superchat reading.

    This was the perfect chance to take that basic outline from last year, and flesh it out into a standalone gem of content! I'm glad to see that creative brain at work, where everything is connected to everything else, so a random comment leads to memories of the old commercial idea, then to making it a reality the same day.

    The stock video footage was perfect, and Kronii's new reading was perfect -- not just polishing up her original interpretation, which more matter-of-fact, but giving it a whole new tone. It's that super-confident, yet calm, assured, "This is the greatest product ever made, let me tell you how, and those who can't see its brilliance, we're sorry to leave you behind, meanwhile everybody else, join the cult, I mean, buy our product, and live your best life, for the rest of your life".

    It really showcased Kronii's skill at voice acting, and is a reminder that formats like these -- streaming, especially for companies based in Japan -- are one of the few outlets for actually talented and creative people right now. Hollywood studios, video game developers, etc., are too invested in producing alienating and aggravating garbage, and just hiring based on nepotism and casting couches. So while she may not be getting the million-dollar contracts from those studios like she should in a just world, at least she has an actual outlet for her talents, and the audience can find and enjoy it easily.

    This kind of entertainment is truly an oasis in a collapsing culture industry, and we're very grateful to have you girls (and the behind-screen support), as I'm sure you're glad to have a big appreciative audience for your performances. :)

  8. OK, having gushed about all that -- are you ready for another idea, Goob? You're probably already thinking it (great minds, right?).

    It's making a parody infomercial! Again, parody commercials go way back, at least to the '70s beginning of SNL, with Shimmer -- it's a floor wax AND a dessert topping!

    But infomercials are different from commercials. And I'm sure some of the sketch comedy shows did brief skits that parodied infomercials specifically, not just commercials in general -- the big sets, the live studio audience, the carnival barker host (probably wearing a wacky statement sweater), etc., which a typical commercial does not have.

    But I don't know of a full-length parody infomercial, lasting 30 or 60 minutes or however long they were. Talk about commit to the bit!

    Like commercials, informercials were scripted -- you couldn't wing it for 30 minutes live on stream. But they weren't the most polished either, like a Hollywood movie -- they weren't too aesthetic, just functional to sell the product. If there was a yab on set, OK, do another take.

    But they went for a fairly "stage acting" kind of performance. There was a cast of characters, each had their own role, their lines of dialogue, a plot from start to climax to end, and it all unfolded more or less live on a stage before an audience. Not like typical commercials, which could be shot on location, might only have one spokesman talking into the camera, might just show the product details with a voiceover only, etc.

    Infomercials were THEATRICAL.

    I can't believe I'm getting hyped up over them, but I am *so* going to watch one tonight on YouTube, just to relive what an exciting culture we used to have! Obviously there are far superior formats of entertainment from the good ol' days. But it's worth it to remember how entertaining that culture was, even in its totally banal, commercialist, shown when only the nobodies would be watching, kind of format.

    I have no idea what the substance of your infomercial would be, or who else would join you in the dramatis personae. I'll leave that to the cursed creative shark-girl brain, hehe.

    But just as an off-the-cuff thing, we all had a good laugh when Mumei joked about being head-empty or brain-damaged by the experience, so now she was perfectly well cut out to become a vtuber. So maybe one of the Holo girls offers a testimonial sometime. The whole point of those testimonials is like bearing witness to Jesus raising the dead -- it's the ultimate makeover, from the lowest low to the highest high. So you'd need a case that started out pretty low and unpromising, to judge it a miracle that they turned out so great.

    So after the testimonial, the announcer proclaims, "Amazing, isn't it, folks? From head-empty vtuber to [whatever the miraculous life transformation promised by the product is -- master chef, mental calculator, etc.]. Truly, all can be transformed by our product! That includes you watching at home!"

    I don't know if you should make the product too meta, about streaming or vtubing per se. It could be a super-gadget, or set of related super-gadgets, like they used to sell. But the testimonial would be a nice place to make a meta joke about vtubing or streaming.

    It's pretty ambitious for a group that is used to live-streaming, or pre-recording music. Maybe it would require cutting down to 10 minutes instead of 30 or whatever. And it might not pan out as well as you -- and I -- initially had the enthusiasm for.

    But it's worth thinking about and playing around with! :)

  9. I can actually imagine Red Letter Media doing a full-length parody infomercial. But they have a different sense of humor than the Hololive girls or Gura in particular. So it'd be cool to see both takes on the concept.

    One technical thing I worry about, with a vtuber infomercial, is the stage -- it's theatrical, and the stage is central to its aesthetic. There may not be tons of action on the stage, as though it were a ballet, but the characters do walk here and there, pause, encounter each other, etc., at key moments in their dialogue.

    That's pretty hard to do with the 2D avis, unlike the game show wall-o'-contestants. The smol 3D models would be a bit awkward too, although maybe after you experimented with it, it had its own awkwardly cursed charm to it? Or maybe it would just be unsatisfying -- can't say without a result to judge.

    The most hopeful thing would be the 3D models with mo-cap, since that's how you guys have done your musical concerts -- another distinctly theatrical stage performance, with body movements and pacing around.

    However, that may be too much effort to do something as wacky and passion-project-y as a full-length parody infomercial.

    But I'm not an animator, so maybe there's a way to use your 2D avis on a background studio stage / set, with a studio audience watching them from the in-studio seats. We have to see their expressions of incredulity, laughter, amazement when they're finally convinced by the miracles and signs. "Don't take our word for it, folks -- just look at how we've convinced this massive audience of perfectly ordinary Americans, like yourselves!"

    Like I said, maybe it's too ambitious, but it's food for thought! You never know, it could take twists and turns into something related, but feasible, and still hilarious content for the ages. :)

  10. All right, one final comment for tonight. The thing I worry about with 3D mo-cap is if the infomercial needed lots of detail in facial expressions -- like if the host is a high-energy hype man, or the guest appearance who is selling the thing is high-energy. The 2D avis have much more expressive faces than the 3D ones.

    So that's another point in favor of using the 2D ones, aside from the cost. 3D is better for the concerts because of the dancing and moving around on stage, where we need to see the entire body, whereas most of the emotional expression comes from your voices, not your facial movements.

    To focus what the product would be, ask yourself what it would have been if the Tumblr angels had an infomercial just for them, back in the good ol' days of the platform. Then make it somewhat less cursed / disgusting, to make it appeal to your broader and more normie-friendly audience -- as well as who you have become in the meantime, you're not the same gremlins you were back then. And that's a good thing.

    Cursed, cute, offbeat, yet seemingly very plausible and useful. And not a meta reference, or a sub-cultural in-joke (chum jars, etc.).

    Just like you did with the commercial for the toothpaste that's so revolutionary you only need to brush twice a year (we promise this is all based on science, just listen to these multisyllabic jargon terms!)

    Oh God, I'm thinking about something like deodorant, stinky, not wanting to wash too often, what do vtubers smell like.... somewhat like Gamer Girl Bath Water, but not so out-there / obviously joking / coomer-y.

    That was a great parody commercial, too, and very of its time rather than rehashing classic SNL.

    But you girls aren't exactly like Belle Delphine, or the sub-cultures she was drawing from.

    I only mention that because it's something you could totally imagine being expanded into a full-length infomercial, with Gura as the ongoing host and Belle as the seller du jour.

    Something less degen, not sexual (although could still be earthy, corporeal, physical, etc.), and not using an existing celeb or their parody product obviously.

    I dunno, you girls know your sense of humor and audience better than I do. Oh, to be a fly on the wall of those SNOT brainstorming sessions...


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