August 22, 2022

"Oshi Eyes" (Billie Eilish parody, Gawr Gura tribute)

Having been an avid watcher of vtubers for over a year now, I have all sorts of new vocabulary that wouldn't have occurred to me to use in song parodies before. Like "oshi" -- a performer among a group that you enjoy so much, follow devotedly, etc. They're more than just a good entertainer -- they're an inspiration and motivation.

The fans are not treating her like a gf simulation, it's more like someone they find captivating and compelling. Although there may be shades of her being an imaginary gf in some of their minds.

And you can have a few oshis, not only one, but usually one of them will stand out a bit more. For example, in my case, Gura and Fauna from Hololive, and Pokimane on Twitch, are my oshis. Though if I were forced to name only one, it would be the sharky chanteuse. I will never apologize for being captivated by Manic Pixie Dream Girls (or Manic Pixie Stream Girls, as it were). They're so uplifting, and teasingly playful, that you can't help it (I can't, anyway).

Then while scrolling through the back catalog of a cover group on YouTube (Cimorelli), it hit me -- "oshi" as a substitute for "ocean"! And so, a parody on the one Billie Eilish song that I really like, "Ocean Eyes". Original lyrics here, and see Gura's own karaoke rendition of it here. The song channels the dreamy, spacey, floaty vibe of the vulnerable phase of the excitement cycle, 2015-'19. Instead of the high-energy, blood-pumping vibe that a crush song would've channeled during the manic phase of 2010-'14.

The new lyrics still play into the oceanic theme of the original, since Gura is a shark-girl who hails from Atlantis. Also, a great chance to reference her favorite color. :) And as always, the theme of the blurring of IRL and virtuality.

The pronunciation guide is at the end, since it's too involved to list a few examples here. But basically, in the original, there are three strong beats, then a fourth soft beat, with a lot of syncopation and unusual stressed syllables. I've copied the lyrics, split up by syllable, and boldfaced the strong beats. The remaining unstressed ones are delivered at the same pace as the original. Gooba can figure it out, at any rate -- she's the rhythm game champion. Hehe.

* * *

Lately I'm becoming too online
Seeking secrets in my oshi's eyes
Azure surface of Atlantean tides
Whirling waters under those oshi eyes
Your oshi eyes

No fair
Even Casanova'd feel shy
When she opens her oshi eyes
I'll dare
And climb through the screen to the other side
Climbing up into oshi's eyes
Those oshi eyes

Stream has ended, now I'm lost for miles
The Cheshire haunting of her shark-tooth smile
I'll solve her puzzle in just one trial
Follow her guide, it's there in her shark-tooth smile
And those oshi eyes

No fair
Even Casanova'd feel shy
When she opens her oshi eyes
I'll dare
And climb through the screen to the other side
Climbing up into oshi's eyes
Those oshi eyes

* * *

Late-ly I'm becoming too on-line
Seek-ing sec-rets in my o-shi's eyes
Az-ure sur-face of At-lan-te-an tides
Whirl-ing wa-ters under those o-shi eyes
Your o-shi eyes

No fair
Even Ca-sa-no-va'd feel shy
When she opens her o-shi eyes
I'll dare
And climb through the screen to the o-ther side
Climbing up into o-shi's eyes
Those o-shi eyes

Stream has en-ded, now I'm lost for miles
The Chesh-ire haun-ting of her shark-tooth smile
I'll solve her pu-zzle in just one trial
Fo-llow her guide, it's there in her shark-tooth smile
And those o-shi eyes


  1. Holo Council girls harmonizing last night during "Astrogirl". You don't get to hear that sound much anymore, and it's very appreciated. :)

    Cimorelli, for those who didn't look them up, are a harmonizer group as well -- 6 sisters, which is typical for harmonizing groups. Most of the Beach Boys are brothers and a cousin, 2/3 of Wilson Phillips are sisters, the Everly Brothers, the Andrews Sisters, the McGuire Sisters, 2 of the Chordettes were sisters-in-law, the Bee Gees brothers, etc.

    All going back to harmony in music reflecting egalitarianism, and you don't get any more anti-market and anti-hierarchical than the family, especially if the parents are out of the picture (as always in these harmonizing groups). There's no "I" in "family"... hold up, there's no "e-g-o" in "family".

    And the Cimorelli sisters were born and raised -- where else? -- in California. First in suburban Sacramento, in the Central Valley, then they moved to Malibu right before getting big on YouTube. They transplanted to Nashville in the middle of 2015, and it shows. I love all states, but those girls belonged in California, especially if they were culture-makers (or content-creators, as we say now).

    They lost their healthy tans / vitamin D, two started dying their hair neon colors (colored hair is a flyover country thing), and they began shifting more toward the Etsy contempo Christian demographic, rather than their all-American appeal when they were free-spirited California Republican suburbanites.

    If their roots had been in Tennessee, that's fine. But they grew up in California, and their mother's side is from there. The father's side is from PA, not TN, anyway. If Malibu was too expensive to be YouTubers, I'd rather see them move to Chico / Butte County, near their roots in Sacramento. Defend it against the libtards who are sure to take it over before long, and not have to abandon your roots. One of the GOP counties in CA, even though it's a college town -- meaning free-spirited home-schooling hippies.

    Probably one of the last all-American places in California by now, but that has to be defended, not just everyone move to Salt Lake City, Denver, or Austin.

  2. I know the Zoomers like Gura and Mumei watched a Cimorelli cover or two back in the day, so perhaps these videos will unlock a pleasant memory. And serve as a nice appetizer for anyone who hasn't heard them before.

    I do remember watching some of their covers during the 2010s sometime, but not sure which. All I remember is thinking they had to be Mormon if they were a big family from California doing family-friendly covers. But nope, they're Catholic.

    Having just binged a good amount of their archive, I have to say Lauren is my fave (the exotic Med-looking one with the striking jaw and brows). And naturally enough, she was born in that oh-so-important cohort of 1995-'99, the manic phase of the excitement cycle. She's one of two Zoomers in the group (born in '98). Had a habit of wearing bands / bows in her hair, while also being a skater girl with a backwards hat -- how very Cali. :) I think the last video shows off her Californian late '90s-born free spirit the best.



    One Thing

    Call Me Maybe

    Good Time

    Want To Want Me

    I Really Don't Care

  3. The wonders of not putting girls on birth control, mind drugs, and porn. Natural, healthy levels of hormones, able to be channeled into wholesome outlets like singing and making music videos for a wide audience.

    I wrote earlier about how all women are ditching their hormonal birth control as of 2020, but these videos are from the 2010s. They were pioneers, ahead of the curve.

    And you can tell what a difference it makes -- how expressive, energetic, and sociable they are.

    Hope you guys are listening on a proper speaker set-up with a sub-woofer, and not airpods. Those little things can't contain all the hormones and harmonies you're meant to be hit by!

  4. Vladimir Berkov8/25/22, 11:22 AM

    Any thoughts on the return of goth as a trend? It feels even less like a real subculture this time.

  5. Red Scare ladies on the "ditch your hormonal birth control" tip again in the latest episode. :) Begins after the first hour (Ray Peasts ep). Even dyed-in-the-wool girl-haters still welcome and encourage the flooding of public spaces with female hormones again, for the first time in decades.

    From their misogynist feminist perspective ("I can't stand other wahmen"), it's more about the benefit to the individual woman herself ("I finally feel normal and healthy again"). Whereas the girl-liking feminists would frame it about the benefit to womankind collectively -- a newly confident sisterhood that can achieve their collective goals, powered forward by a distinctly female power source that had been suppressed before.

    I'm not a feminist, but I obviously side with the girl-liking side that emphasizes the widespread societal collective change we're going to be experiencing, not just a nice convenient benefit in my own personal life.

    Even if IRL has been replaced by online, there are still huge public spaces online, and those are going to be absolutely electrified by the surging hormone levels of all the girls that are online these days. (One reason why the ancient internet of the '90s was emotionally pretty boring, whatever else its benefits were -- no girls online back then.)

  6. The trouble is Woke Women often take over those spaces.

  7. Do you anticipate seeing girls like this again?

  8. You're so terrified of Manic Pixie Stream Girls that you have to paranoid-hallucinate the threat of feminazi wokeness taking over their spaces. It's just a spin on the "ewww, girls have cuties" disgust reflex that little boys and gays have.

    Same with the focus on dumb airhead women. You can easily find vtubers who have a ditzy, clumsy, scatterbrained personality type -- like Fauna, someone I post about all the time. But she's not dumb or slutty like the ones from girl-hating Married With Children (where Bud is a standard manosphere midwit, barely triple-digit IQ himself, not to mention a severe manlet).

    So what you really want is one of the misogynist wahmen, someone who says, "I'm a girl, and I admit it -- girls have cuties!" Or "I'm just sippin' on that dumb bitch juice," "My favorite sexual position is...." etc. There's zillions of those types on Twitter and podcast land. The only vtubers like that I'm aware of are the VShoujo ones, who everyone in the vtuber audiences hates -- pandering to coomers and girl-haters.

    I keep saying girl-haters vs. girl-likers, but really the haters hate everyone -- girls, guys, and themselves, whereas the likers like everyone -- girls, guys, and themselves. Girl-haters also look down on men, think "men are stupid simple creatures that just think with their 2-inch dicks," and other typical dominatrix / humiliation fetish talk. And girl-haters are notoriously depressive, having a low view of themselves.

    I don't know if there's any curing that broad and deep of a dim degrading attitude toward literally all of humanity. But for those who are on the "likers" side, I can draw attention to the handful of exceptions in the entertainment industry where girl-likers can find like-minded people, on both the audience and talent sides. Like the Hololive girls. :)

    "Fags and their hags" is so 2010s. Now is the era of "lads and lesbians".

  9. Fauna, congrats on one year, and on making it through a 12-hour stream. :) The variety of games and guests kept it from feeling like one of those "lost in the alternate dimension" streams, where it's just one game lasting forever. It was very lively!

    FWIW, when you kept saying how pure and bright-eyed debut Fauna sounded, it was mainly because you and most everyone else was new to the social ecosystem you were setting up. You had no idea what your role would be, and you were curious and excited to see how the relationships would unfold.

    It's not like acting, where your role is defined ahead of time by the screenwriter, and the director is guiding you along. It's more like reality TV, where the roles only emerge organically over the course of the show.

    So, one year later, I can tell that your role is "the quiet shy one, who secretly likes getting into a little wholesome mischief, or outright cursed convos, but needs an instigator present to get the ball rolling, relieving her of the guilt that the mischief was her fault or decision, since she was just going along (EAGERLY) with what the instigator started." That instigator being Gura, Irys, or Kiara.

    But one year ago, none of that was known about you -- not from the audience, you yourself, or your senpais in Myth. (The Myth girls did not know what their roles would evolve into, when they began, either.)

    You were a piece of wet clay, yet to be molded into its final shape. Naturally, that gave you a sense of wonder. Now, there's no more sense of infinite possibilities, because your role has gradually been shaped into a more definite form, over the course of all those interactions you've had with the other girls, and with the audience.

    That just means you're a real, 3-dimensional human being, not an empty canvass or vague template. There's nothing to feel down about -- aside from the occasional bit of your final shape that you may not like, like a vocal minority of the audience calling you "mommy" etc. Please just focus on the fact that most of us are not like that, and that we all (audience and your fellow talents alike) appreciate the richness of the role you play within the whole Hololive ecosystem.

    It's not "settling into a monotonous groove" or being pigeon-holed or type-cast or whatever. It's just the natural course of social interactions forming people into this role or that role over time. The alternative is not "forever able to take on any role whatsoever" like some protean superhuman -- the alternative is to have no role, no personality whatsoever, due to having had no social interactions whatsoever.

    And of course that applies to maturation in life in general, not just on the virtuality show of Hololive. You wouldn't want to go back to being a helpless empty bahbie, since that would mean giving up your distinct final shape, what makes you, you.

    You should feel proud of that, not want to unwind that development in a doomed quest for purity, meaning in reality, emptiness / lack of rich detail. You wouldn't have as many devoted followers, and intensely bonded colleagues, if you were just a pure / undefined slab of clay. We value you for who you actually are, not for being a vague shifting cloud of who-you-might-be's.

    *BIG HUG* from oniisan. :)

  10. And everyone play multiple roles, the one I highlighted just stands out the most to me.

    I think you Millennials worry too much about staying forever young, just like the Boomers who you echo.

    The Silents, Gen X, and Zoomers look at it the other way -- and in a better way (but then I would think that, as a very tail-end Gen X-er). Namely, if you stay frozen in youth, that just means you don't have definite form, you're just an amorphous gooey blob with no solidity, integrity, or identity. Crucially, you haven't been shaped by others and the circumstances of your development. You're just a generic template!

    I know, I know, the infinite possibilities of being a pliable material, just starting out on life's many adventures, the hope and excitement of looking forward to all that... And that's wonderful when you are literally in that stage of life, nothing more charming than that.

    But if you remain that way later on, it just means you didn't get those experiences with the outside world, importantly with other people who shaped you, and you're more of a might-have-been person rather than an actually-are person. You missed your chance to become someone definite. That would be so sad, wouldn't you just die?!

    Now, if "who you became" were a criminal, psycho, etc., then yes, you should have stayed unformed forever. But how can you think that applies to you? You're such an endless font of sweetness, good vibes, and nurturing love to everyone else in Hololive, and in your audience.

    Not to mention you still do have youthful mannerisms like the high-pitched singsong voice, and your signature "tuh-HUH-hih" giggle. :) And your inquisitive mind and curiosity.

    Plus, you're still in your 20s! What is it with Millennials plunging into existential dread once you're in the second half of your 20s, playing "Young and Beautiful" on an endless loop? You guys need to take a chill pill, it's not that dramatic! :)

    But you don't have to pattern yourself on the even older (and more wise and mature) Gen X-ers like me -- take it from the younger Zoomers. Kronii and Mumei reacted to their debuts by celebrating how far they've come since then, and they find their initial naivete cringey or a necessary evil, on the way to becoming a fully formed person, overcoming where they started out.

    Mumei especially taking potshots at the "OMG, I'm like sooo nervous, I'm just a widdle bahbie virgin to this whole experience, teehee!" Spoken like a true echo X-er. :)

  11. Gurl, you need some serenading -- not just to cleanse that despondent tone you had during the debut reaction (which you did get over while playing with your friends, but may be lingering back there in your mind). But to celebrate how far you've come, your staying power.

    In a million years, when people look back nostalgically on the vtuber phenomenon of the 2020s, how are they NOT going to remember the time with such faundness?

    And rather than your bf or husband saying his love is eternal, how about some of your fellow real or imaginary besties letting you know how special and endlessly friendly your relationship will be?

    All covers of the same song, "Classic" by MKTO from 2013. First, imagine your bff dedicating this song to you on karaoke night. Then, imagine you show up to the next off-collab, and you're greeted by your genmate strutting her smooth stuff and soulfully serenading and celebrating her cyber-sister. And finally, imagine you were one of their friends back when the song first came out, and the whole group put together a harmonizing tribute for the cherished friend of the family.


    Kronii MMD


  12. Wait, Kronii's singing karaoke tomorrow! She should totally do "Classic" as a dedication to her genmates and the Myth girls. Anniversaries are the occasion to celebrate staying power, not merely getting older.

    If she already knows the song, of course, no pressure if she doesn't.

  13. I Hope to shock you like Irys,
    Get it done-done like Civ,
    Our love is deeper than outer Space,
    No Time to waste,
    Such Chaotic fun to give!

  14. (Fauna / Nature not present because that's who's being serenaded, duhhh....)

  15. Gon' inspect you like Watson,
    Hug you harder than Squid,
    Over 'n' over, the Phoenix way,
    Till Death we'll stay,
    You're the treasure Atlantis hid

  16. He's crazy like a noob,
    Wild 'bout M'Lady Goob,
    I'm crazy like a noob,
    Wild 'bout M'Lady Goob

    M'Lady, Lady Goob
    M'Lady, Lady Goob
    M'Lady, Lady Goob
    M'Lady, Lady Goob

    Thought of Gura when Kronii sang this absolute classic during karaoke tonight:

    Very pleased to see Kronii doing lots of disco as well as adult contempo / sensitive male singer-songwriter staples. Two genres that non-musical people just don't get.

    The Jason Mraz songs fit her reserved persona, but with that much disco, I think she's more of a dancer than she lets on. Especially if she also works out often. Maybe more of a "dancing in the dark at a club" type, rather than a stage dancer, but still. Was *not* expecting that much disco, especially something funky and raw like "Daddy Cool".

    Gap moe applies to karaoke performances as well, eh? Hehe.

  17. Yeah, we'll be tuning into Goob
    Just pretending we're not noobs, and we know it too
    Yeah, we'll be tuning into Goob
    Just pretending we're not noobs, so tonight

    Let's go crazy crazy crazy
    Till the stream is done
    I know I'm new to chat
    But here's a tier 3 sub
    And never never never stop for cringe anons
    Tonight let's log on
    And simp while we're young

    Wanna simp, wanna simp
    Wanna simp while we're young

  18. Still in a 1D mood from last night, when I was blasting "What Makes You Beautiful" out the car windows, leaving the thrift store. As usual, there's a pair of Zoomie cuties just getting out of a car to cross in front of me in the parking lot, one of whom was single and the other with her bf.

    The single one was wearing the Zoomer summer uniform of super-high-cut cheeky shorts, barely covering her hips and below, but looking wholesome and decent-coverage since they go way up over her tummy, and a micro-crop top. Both in pink.

    Once she saw it was random hot guy blasting the boy band music, she hitched her shorts even higher up, all but flashing her thicc tan b-b-bunzzzz, and walking with more of a feminine strut.

    Only thing better than being in a good mood yourself is putting others in a good mood as well. :)

  19. Luv Gura's new loading screen, with her 3D avi acting bored and restless, rolling her legs back and forth while seated, and tilting her head side to side.

    Totally captures the girly ADHD urgency of just wanting for something exciting to happen already to end the boredom. And shows off her shortie energy very well, since tall girls are more composed and you can't imagine them rolling their legs impatiently like that. The big chunky shoes feel so heavy against her legs, like a ball-and-chain, as though she feels weighed down and is trying to wiggle loose to freedom.

    We knew she had the dance moves, but even these little things show what an intuitive physical performer she is. :)

    I could see a similar animation for the ending screen, but where she's laying down on her tummy, arms resting on her elbows, legs kicking / waving slowly and aimlessly in the air. More of a winding-down vibe than a waiting-for-things-to-happen vibe, but conveying the same personality.

  20. Fauna, we share the same brain cell about lighting in Minecraft.

    I wasn't going to say anything because it would've been a nitpicking little detail and backseating, but when I saw the glow berries on the vines for your bridge, I thought, "Hmmm, that takes away from the cool lighting of the sea lanterns, and puts red/orange color into the overwhelmingly blue/green oceanic palette".

    Then at the end when you said the exact same thing, I was like, "D-did she just brain snipe me?" Hehe. Love vibin' on the same wavelength as my oshi in real time. :)

    Very '90s colors, and lighting tone. Part of the '90s / y2k revival. When you laid out all those different block types, I thought, "How many shades of the Windows 95 desktop did they program in?"

    Since you're working in the cool but high-powered lighting, you could get some decorating inspo from the music videos of the late '90s and early 2000s. They all had that aesthetic. E.g. "Closing Time" by Semisonic from 1998 (which even has two-tone with green -- pretty rare).

    I think the last example of that aesthetic was -- dun dun dunnnn -- Twilight from 2008, which you're going to be hosting a watchalong for?! Lucky for me I bought the DVD for a dollar a couple years ago. :)

    Hmmm, maybe that means I'll have to watch and listen to a Hololive stream on the laptop screen with one headphone on, since I normally have you guys plugged into the TV and its speakers. (Not one of those psycho "Big Brother is watching you" 70-inch screens, just a humble little 32-inch thing.)

    Never done anything this parasocial and simulation-y before. Should be fun!

  21. Another mv suggestion for that aesthetic:

    "3AM" by Matchbox 20. Like "Closing Time," part of the urban / nightlife trend.

  22. It's also the Zora colors from Zelda, esp Princess Ruto from Ocarina of Time. Two-tone teal, and a bright cool white light. An N64 memory unlocked. :)

    Their domain didn't look too much like their bodies, but you could still look at her for inspo. And their theme is oceanic, like your bridge.

    The only other non-teal color is her iris and jewelry being purple / magenta -- naturally, it was the '90s, and purple and green went together like neon blue and pink in the 2010s.

    So if you did want to add any other colors, for a little accent, you could try a magenta jewel tone. No idea what material that is in Minecraft, though!

    To me it looks better when the purple is next to her cool white-light areas, rather than right against the teal shades, like her child form having purple eyes, white face, and teal on the top of her head. But maybe in the context of your bridge it would look fine next to the teals, who knows?

  23. Woo gurl, I'm blinded,
    But that bubble so big I'll still find it,
    And I don't ever wanna lose you,
    So come back it up like a file

    Another verse a la "Classic", inspired by the very sharkalicious fanart that the Goobinator just retweeted.

    More like Gawr Glute-a [tongue out] [devil horns]


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