March 16, 2022

NPC gripes about "burnt Starbucks"

Why do only white people whine about Starbucks tasting burnt etc? Just searched Twitter for reviews of their Sumatra line, which is supposed to be earthy, herbal, and dark-roasted. The black & Hispanic people never bring up the standard gripe about Starbucks tasting burnt, over-roasted, etc. (So far, haven't found Asians reviewing it). And it's not as though those groups are averse to leaving bad reviews of things.

Is it the cerebral vs. corporeal orientation? The overly civilized and cerebralized fraction of white people don't like all sorts of smells and tastes. The normal fraction of white people are fine with them, or actively seek them out. Same thing with perfume and cologne.

You'll never see a MENA person whining about burnt Starbucks -- they were one of the most reliable demographics, back when coffee houses were the place to be, in the 2010s.

What the weirdos describe as burnt, ash, and shoe-bottom -- a normal brain would interpret as warm, smoky, earthy, with animalic notes of leather. It's a heady cologne, but drinkable! The cerebrals can't stand any drink that doesn't taste like fruit juice or milkshakes. Kiddie tastes, at most rising to the level of sweet & sour -- but nothing pungent and earthy, like grown-ups can appreciate. They also don't like anything heavy or thick -- light and wispy only, like skim milk instead of whole milk!

It's a simple way to disqualify a reviewer of food and drink -- any view they have stems from their underformed senses of smell-and-taste, so why take it seriously? It's exactly like critics of music who are tone-deaf, can't dance, and have no rhythm. Or color-blind critics of painting.

Who cares what sensory deficient people think about the realm of the senses?

It's possible this is just counter-signaling the specific brand of Starbucks, since I didn't read as much hate (or any hate at all) for Peet's -- another West Coast style, dark-roasted, Indo-Pacific-heavy origin brand. But they didn't exactly love them either (e.g., Major Dickason's Blend, which I just finished a bag of, and really enjoyed).

The more I looked into the tastes of coffee snobs, the more they seem to despise the entire Indonesian area -- too earthy, not acidic enough, not fruity or floral enough, to the extent that those beans would be thrown out if they had come from any other region, as defective. Oh no, anything but drinks that don't taste like wine and fruity-floral perfumes!

And as usual, I don't get the sense that the normal brains find those Latin American or African types disgusting, let alone whining about "it tastes like drinking Herbal Essences shampoo" or something faggy like that. Normal brains appreciate the full spectrum of things, while stunted cerebral brains only narrowly fixate on one range, and get hysterical about anything outside of it.

This is yet another example of how hard it is to go by verbal reviews of physical things, given that reviewers are biased toward being wordcels and cerebrals, who can't appreciate the full spectrum of things. Who showed up to lounge around Starbucks, and savor their favorite drink every day -- much more reliable. But you can't look that up using a verbal algorithm like Google or Yelp or Twitter. You have to actually go there and see for yourself what others feel about it.

And of course these days no one hangs out in coffee shops anymore, but that's for another post...


  1. Ironic as West Coast cerebrals are more "woke" in their attitudes towards African and Latin American people.

  2. This isn't a left vs. right diff, BTW. More like moderates / normies vs. freakazoid libtards. I'm sure when I was a regular at Starbucks 10 years ago, 70% or more of the crowd were Democrats. A decent amount of hipsters there, too, it wasn't only for normies.

    But overall, not a spot for the highly cerebral crowd, who would instead gather at the "locally owned" coffee shop (which looked like every other one like it around the country). There was always such a downer, low-energy, depressive vibe at those places -- joyless people who don't resonate with sensory experiences much.

    People who are sensual would feel their soul being sucked out in one of those places, if they went on a regular basis. Nah, let's have some fun, be social, and hang out at Starbucks! When you want some savor in your flavor...

  3. If we're living in a rising crime/extroversion cycle, does that imply young people will start hanging out at Starbucks again?

  4. It should, but as I mentioned in the January post on the virtual taking place of the real, we'll start to see the signs of "outgoingness" in the virtual realm, more so than IRL.

    But unlike a dance club being replaced by TikTok, there's no virtual cafe where people hang out, talk about coffee, post videos of drinking coffee, etc. YouTube tutorials and reviews, sure, but not a hang-out based on drinking coffee.

    It would have to be like the groypers' Tea Tunes, on a huge scale. Maybe a big streamer making it a thing -- OK, chat, make sure your coffee or tea is all brewed up before we get to hanging out.

    You never know, Twitch has seen all sorts of mini-trends take off -- chess, fitness, bathtubs, etc.

    Some streamers could simulate having a friend there to chat with you, interacting with their viewers. Others could simulate being the cute girl you don't know but are checking out, and the reason why you're not leaving so soon. She occasionally looks over, smiles, etc. Maybe she only interacts with you after an hour or so, asking for book recommendations, what type of coffee is the best here, etc.

    Or a barista simulator! I have a post coming up on them, one of the last It Girl jobs. People these days are so awkward around strangers, it helps if the other person is paid to talk to you, like the barista.

    In fact, with as many girls out there who were baristas over the past decade or so, there are tons who could very convincingly simulate what it's like talking to one.

    Maybe to heighten the false sense of intimacy, after an hour she moves from behind the bar, to take a seat next to you and chat with you during her break. Those precious 15 minutes of hers, all devoted to you, you intriguing devil, you. Hehe.

  5. Speaking about barista sims, have you heard of this game?

  6. I almost always only drink coffee black, and I drink a lot of coffee. I also enjoy strong flavors, before quitting my drink of choice was smoky, peaty single malt scotch. To me Starbucks just doesn’t have the right flavor for drinking black though I’ll do it if nothing else is available.

    I’m talking here about their standard “pike” blend not the blonde or dark, here. To be fair, I used to live across from a Starbucks and very few people really drink black coffee period, there. Aside from the various dessert-sweet concoctions most people order lattes, caps, mochas, etc, or douse their coffee liberally with cream and sugar.

    I could see how the really strong, bitter, burnt taste of the pike blend sorta makes the super syrupy sweet drinks work as a flavor; a really mellow coffee would be overwhelmed by the caramel cinnamon spices etc.

    But as for black coffee I’ll even take McDonalds over Starbucks anyday.

  7. I don't hear about most games, unless Gura, Pokimane, or Wolfabelle play them (and even then I might not watch the gameplay if it looks boring, e.g. GTA V roleplay). More likely if Gura plays it, though -- she's funny off-the-cuff and can find something interesting or humorous to say over an otherwise boring game.

    From the game description, sounds like the barista is a Manic Pixie Dream Girl -- coaxing wary sad sacks out of their refractory-phase cocoon, for the restless warm-up phase of the excitement cycle. Sure enough, it came out the 1st year of this phase, 2020.

    Looks heavily skewed toward sub-cultures, though, part of the reason why it's hard to spot familiar tropes these days. There are no more pan-American cultural figures like Julia Roberts or Anne Hathaway. I'd say Pokimane comes the closest to widespread appeal today, but the audience is still far narrower in scope than it was for Pretty Woman or The Devil Wears Prada.

    She says she wants to do a regular Dr. Poki segment, where she acts as the MPDG for the love-lorn guys (and gals) in her chat. I don't know how well that'll translate to a virtual relationship in front of a large audience, compared to acting opposite a few cast members for a movie. But we'll see.

  8. Black coffee is rare at any of the coffee locations, not just Starbucks. Tim Horton's, Dunkin' Donuts (refuse to call by the gay re-branded name for striver ACELA lamewads), or McDonald's. The trend toward lots of junk in coffee is widespread.

    I never got drip coffee there, only a shot or two of espresso. But I've had some of their iced coffees and cold brew from the supermarket, and they don't taste burnt either.

    Smoky, smoldering, slowly burning candle wick, etc. -- of course, this is desirable in a hot drink.

    "Burnt" requires a carbon-y crispness, and that is never present in any coffee I've had (SB or others). We all know that sensation of biting into charred toast, or over-done hamburgers from the grill, nuts left in the oven too long. That's not going on in anyone's coffee.

    Like I said, I think those complainers just have numbed taste buds. Burnt, charred, etc. has a pretty numb or absent taste, it's just the carbon shavings, and is more of a tactile sensation than gustatory. So when your taste buds are numb, and detect something smoky, it assumes it's burnt.

    Another complaint is it tastes like "cigarettes" -- what they really mean is, notes of tobacco.

    These people would flip out over the scented candles in TJ Maxx, I mean the heavy / heady ones. Starbucks is like those candles, in drinkable form. Mmmm.

  9. Off topic—

    Do you think the rise of fake sign-language interpreters is related to rising crime?

    What about high school and middle school teachers having sex with their students?


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