tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19346366.post6843570303783113332..comments2024-03-28T21:56:51.675-04:00Comments on Face to Face: Don't be afraid to play the Manic Pixie Dream Guy roleagnostichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12967177967469961883noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19346366.post-91590028562993147162021-11-11T15:49:11.302-05:002021-11-11T15:49:11.302-05:00Will there be a paparazzi for online personas, to ...Will there be a paparazzi for online personas, to alert their fandoms of any new IRL relationships -- or their newly single status? Hard to figure out, but somehow the IRL paparazzi had ways of hearing gossip through the grapevine.<br /><br />I don't mean specifically about Aimee. I hope her new IRL bf turns out to be the right one, and if so, that they get married, have kids, and settle down. (Well, settle down as much as a deranged prophetess can, hehe.)<br /><br />I mean with the whole cast of online characters who have large(-ish) fandoms, both sides of which have only exploded during the parasocial media era. Is the trad mommy blogger actually married? Is the e-girl already taken? Who wants to know? Are they willing to pay?<br /><br />So far, I only see ad hoc attempts to spread such gossip, within a fandom itself. One fan finds an old post of the persona, shares it within the fandom, and it goes however far it goes within their circumscribed network of fans.<br /><br />What I mean is a central clearinghouse like TMZ or Us magazine or Entertainment Tonight, which covered the entire industries of TV, movies, recorded music, and socialites -- not just any one actress or singer.<br /><br />I could imagine it -- so many people are flocking to online personas as their entertainment figures, mixed with parasocial attachment figures, that they must be dying to know. That demand tempts a supplier to get in business.<br /><br />But how much would it cost to collect the info, vs. how much would the fans be willing to pay for it (or how much ad revenue could they bring in)? Beats me.<br /><br />Not something I care much about, just wondering how dystopian the online world is going to get in the future...agnostichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12967177967469961883noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19346366.post-33861219361254392202021-11-11T15:25:49.197-05:002021-11-11T15:25:49.197-05:00Makes me miss the days of social *network* sites, ...Makes me miss the days of social *network* sites, before parasocial *media* sites. She would've simply updated her relationship status on her profile from "imaginary bf-haver" to "IRL bf-haver".<br /><br />But in the parasocial era, none of this info is readily displayed, without prompting, as it was during the MySpace / early Facebook era, which was the peak of online.<br /><br />Now everything is an account, whose bio is just branding. So if the info would maximize the brand's value, it's displayed. If not, then not.<br /><br />E.g., a trad mommy blogger can't succeed as a brand without mentioning that she's married with kids. And if an e-girl has an IRL bf / husband, she'd better keep that a secret, since it would ruin her brand as the "cute girl you have a chance with" for her male audience. For that matter, if the branding is incel or volcel, they'd better keep their IRL bf/gf a secret, if they in fact have one.<br /><br />But Aimee's relationship status is orthogonal to her branding, neither helps nor hinders it. Her account is a prophetess. Maybe the audience for her takes is expecting a Cassandra figure to be celibate or unattached, akin to an oracle or priestess. But maybe they just think she's really intense, which doesn't prevent a woman from being in an IRL relationship, getting married, having kids, etc. So her relationship status might come up, but only randomly.<br /><br />I'm just glad she posted about it on Twitter, since the podcast has been paywalled for awhile. Just checked, and the last one I heard was with Leila Mechoui 10 months ago. No wait, someone from the Red Scare subreddit was naughty and posted the one with Anna, on parenting, from a few months ago. But Aimee didn't get to say much, as the non-parent of the group.<br /><br />I don't have anything against her or the podcast, since I listened way back when she was on Dead Pundits Society. It's a general principle that I won't take part in online persona commodification, which means no paying to hear someone's voice in conversation.<br /><br />It's not paying to hear their takes, since their takes are freely disseminated on Twitter, blogs, or wherever else. It's the illusion of social intimacy that comes from hearing the IRL voices in back-and-forth conversation, that the subscribers of any podcast are paying for.<br /><br />I won't budge from the pre-social-media era of online, when online was a supplement to reality, not a substitute for it. I know I'm in the vanishing minority, and you all are free to pay for the parasocial connections.<br /><br />In this case, I had an extra reason not to pay for illusion of intimacy -- we were imaginary bf & gf, and paying to hear her voice would've been a market transaction, ruining our organic social bond (albeit a ghostly one, rather than an IRL one).<br /><br />I'm sure she preferred being "paid" in tribute songs instead of $5 monthly user fees anyway. :)agnostichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12967177967469961883noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19346366.post-81025329579103854222021-11-10T15:43:19.097-05:002021-11-10T15:43:19.097-05:00Everything goes in cycles, but why let that stop y...Everything goes in cycles, but why let that stop you from enjoying things when they're available?<br /><br />There was an evolution of the MPDGs to being more independent and self-tending during the early 2010s (manic phase, no longer needed to coax wary guys out of their shell during restless phase), and an outright backlash against them in the late 2010s (vulnerable phase, no contact sought with others).<br /><br />But now it's back with another restless phase. If you're a manic-phase birth, you can play the role, or if you're a sad sack who needs coaxing out of your shell, you can find a girl to play the role for you.<br /><br />These relationships (or quasi-relationships) will leave a positive impression on you for the rest of your life, in a way that one-night stands, or even standard "serial monogamy" will not.<br /><br />I think it reflects the unconditional vs. conditional nature of your love. With the MPDG scenario, there's a maternal or father-figure *aspect* to their role (not a straight-up surrogate). You're preparing them, helping, nursing, guiding, etc., knowing that eventually they're going to move on to other people, *similar to* (but not the same as) a parent or guardian. An earthly guardian angel. It taps into the unconditional love between a parent and child.<br /><br />With one-night stands, the love or lust could not be more conditional. Same with serial monogamy, though. You largely put them out of your mind after the relationship is over, and they were mainly a placeholder along the way until you get married and raise kids together.<br /><br />Only at that stage of marriage and child-rearing do you start feeling more unconditional love -- your fates are intertwined with each other's at that point. Not really before then, though.<br /><br />I can't over-emphasize how unique and enriching the quasi-relationship is when one of the two is an MPDG. It's intense and not long-lasting, similar to a whirlwind romance or summertime fling or passionate affair. But no one is left with hard feelings, regret, hatred, eternal pining to hook-up again, etc.<br /><br />And both sides grow and develop over the course of the quasi-relationship, unlike a fling or affair, more similar to getting married and raising kids (though to a lesser degree).<br /><br />And the unconditional nature of your feelings means they'll last forever. Not the same as pining for an ex, or despising an ex, or whatever. More like enduring love for your family members who you grew up with, although not marred by the incest taboo.<br /><br />Not sure how else to convey the feeling, other than what you would expect from one of the pair being an earthly guardian angel. There's a permanent purity to it, but not ethereal or transcendental -- corporeal, fun, funny, bawdy at times, down-to-earth and all-too-human.<br /><br />Because you're not in a LTR or fling situation, you can never be replaced -- except by another MPDG, but that's unlikely to happen, after the first one helped you find your confidence. It's more of a parallel track running separate from the "fling / steady dating" track.<br /><br />I won't feel jealous when she finds a steady IRL bf, as she has, and she won't feel like it's emotional adultery to fondly remember what we've shared over the past year or so. Unlike if she were pining for an ex IRL bf.<br /><br />I'll be snuggled up in a cozy nook within the back of her mind forever, and she within mine as well. Not competing for mental real estate with the coming-and-going flings or steadies, but protected in a special guest-house of our own that we will never get kicked out of.agnostichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12967177967469961883noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19346366.post-27653085801575698912021-11-10T02:11:10.637-05:002021-11-10T02:11:10.637-05:00I doubt the shrews will like that once Men open up...I doubt the shrews will like that once Men open up again. Its going to be severe punishment time in the next cool down phase.John Rockwellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15746216376164151386noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19346366.post-68265411640732399512021-11-10T01:47:58.437-05:002021-11-10T01:47:58.437-05:00Good on you both. It is weird and wonderful watchi...Good on you both. It is weird and wonderful watching amor cortese and Jane Austen recapitulated in young moderns.<br /><br />Now get out of your head and find a pleasant young woman of good family with no debts and tats and make a family. Offspring optional.The Overgrown Hobbithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09806927514541692971noreply@blogger.com